Faithful

It's funny how Gods faithfulness becomes clear. When we have nothing certain to cling to, his goodness draws us close.

At the Foot of the Cross

I love this song.

 

Lyrics

I trade this ashes in for beauty

And wear forgiveness like a crown

Coming to kiss the feet of mercy

I lay every burden down

At the foot of the cross

So amazing. How thankful I am for the cross. When I think about the times I have been so lost, so far from God because of my idols (relationships, achievements, future), I realize how faithful Christ is. He draws me back to him when I am lost. 

A Christmas Carol

Rehearsal for A Christmas Carol makes me realize what a wonderful thing theatre is! Contradictory to the individualistic lifestyles promoted by modern American consumerism, theatre brings people together. Total strangers working towards a common goal: to tell a story. A story that stirs, inspires, challenges, and awakens the heart to the beauty of relationships and the importance of being thankful for the people in our lives.  And we as a community of storytellers invite audiences to participate in this story with us. Each performance is unique because the audience is another character in the mold. Theatre unveils the beauty of unpredictability. Uncertainty allows unexpected wonder to arise-all the hardships, struggles, challenges of putting together a show are worthwhile for those moments of joy, connection, laughter one finds in theatre.  Life is like this too. The bad is worth enduring because the good greatly surpasses any memory of struggle.  So much beauty to give life loveliness.

Who said that success, wealth, and achievement are more important than community, service, and relationships??? Isn't the point of "work" to contribute to the world with ones gifts?  Your calling in life is where your great joy meets the worlds great need. We are all fearfully and wonderfully made.

I am so glad to be me! And I am so glad you are you!

UnReal

Amazing trio gymnastics routine!  Unbelievable.

http://bbh.cc/mouth-open/

Sometimes I wonder who I might be had I continued to train as a gymnast...
Rio 2016?
Once upon a time, I dreamed I might be in the olympics...
sometimes dreams change...

Personal Stories from Women who have had Abortions

http://nymag.com/news/features/abortion-stories-2013-11/

Abortion never seems to be discussed in any kind of personal way, but what could be more personal than a woman deciding whether or not to allow her unborn child to live?  These vulnerable stories shed light on the emotional struggles connected to the issue of abortion.

What strikes me most after reading these stories is that the girls are alone in facing the confusion, uncertainty, regret, shame, and other emotions accompanying abortion.  Why do we allow these women to face this kind of trauma alone?  What can we do, as a nation, to better care for these women who are often victims of disillusionment, manipulation, and recklessness?

What can we do?

For these women to vulnerably share their stories--without justifying the behavior or qualifying their actions--is a start.  Young women need to be able to talk with friends and family without the fear of judgment, especially when it comes to something as life-changing as pregnancy.  How do we stop stigmatizing the women but instead publicly and privately offer love, comfort, and support?

Many pregnancies that women choose to terminate may be accidental, even though the women took every precaution possible.   But there are also many situations in which women make rash choices, this seems especially true for the stories written by young women.  What's unsettling is that often women bear the consequences of rash choices while men can walk away "guiltless".

Why isn't there more initiative to challenge men to act responsibly? If abortion is such a HUGE issue in our nation, then why aren't policy makers, educators, and protestors confronting the underlying reality that both men and women must be held accountable for their choices?  Unfortunately, our government doesn't regulate moral values.  It's time to broaden the conversation and challenge men and women to look at the overall picture. 

Two Examples taken from the stories in the article
Scenario A
Woman gets pregnant.
Boyfriend convinces her to have an abortion.
She does.
She deals with the regret, shame, fear of that action her whole life.
Boyfriend leaves.

Who loses?

Scenario B
Woman gets pregnant.
She decides to have the child.
She must raise the child.
Boyfriend leaves (but pays child welfare fees).

Who loses?

It seems like women inevitably lose. And what are we doing to care for them?

How to change this?
Education.
Conversation.
Dialogue.
Free of judgment.
But dialogue nonetheless.
What is the value of human life?
What is the value of abstinence?
What is the value of marriage?
What responsibility accompanies accidental pregnancy?
What consequences accompany abortion?

Conversation in which people can be honest about their perspectives and actions--that freedom to be known and understood could possibly prevent harmful scenarios (A & B) and also allow space for much needed healing.

Feminism

http://redemptionpictures.com/2013/11/12/how-feminism-hurts-men/

Christian man writing about feminism. The perfect article for this blog.

Family

I think the secret to happiness is family-not biological family but the feeling of family, the feeling of being at home. It's amazing to me that every transition has an adjustment phase, and usually the beginning is the most difficult. But ever so slowly, the feeling of family sneaks up and you realize you feel safe, valued for you as you.  I think this has got to be what we all really crave-the safety and ease of being authentic and being loved (or accepted and celebrated).

I'm finding that Im starting to feel the joy of family in the theatre company. Honesty, authenticity, ease. Good feeling.

We really don't need anything but a good home and people to love- it's amazing how I and so many people waste time striving for what does not satisfy, for what does not bring lasting joy.

The secret of a contented heart? Gratitude for the people God puts in our path, loving them enough to put their needs before ones own.

Delight yourself in The Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Pondering the meaning of delighting in the Lord. So much to learn.

Conversation with High Schooler

Me: I think you would really like Northwestern! Are you thinking about applying?

Girl: No, I just don't want to go there. This kid in my high school got in pre-med to go straight into medschool.

Me: What's wrong with that?

Girl: He's just really into himself.

Me: Well the admissions people can't tell that. They probably think it's confidence. If he acted like a jerk to them, they wouldn't take him unless he's brilliant I guess. But not everyone is like that! I made so many awesome friends.

Girl: Yeah he's confident. He wants to be a gynocologist. And he delivered babies in India before his junior year.

Me: Yeah not everyone is like that...I never delivered babies...Gosh delivered babies in India? Don't ya hate kids like that?

Things Only Theatre People Say

"Dang, I've got to go get shot now."

"Man, I gotta go get that guys dead baby!"

"Did ya take Grandpa out of the grave?"

"Oh no he's totally not going to marry her. He's secretly gay."

"Do ya got soup or milk?" How about super milk!

Failure

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: but it is the courage to continue that counts." Winston Churchill

Overcoming discouragement in the face of failure can be difficult.  There are many routes we can choose if we fail: 1) laugh it off and think it's not a big deal 2) recognize the gravity of letting others down & apologize 3) repent and reflect on how to change

I like the third option. Forgetting what lies behind and seeing what lies ahead.  

I've spent a great deal of energy trying to prevent failures. It never works.  Somehow I always find myself doing something not quite right, or ruffling feathers, or receiving frustrated complaints (for example while compiling a script from journals at 5am before class the next day).

But I've gotta ask myself, what's the point? What's the point of worrying so much about failure?

There is only one person who never failed.  What is amazing about Christ is that he followed through with the most difficult promise-sacrificing his life!  And because he never failed, his life makes us trustworthy. We are trustworthy to God! He can include us in his plan for redemption even though we will fail, oh we certainly will.

I struggle with failure because it's important to me not to disappoint others, and especially not to make others feel uncared for.  But I fail at this all the time!!!  Knowing grace is such a good thing, he sets me free to look ahead to Him. He sets me free to change.

What Matters

Listening to these songs, what really matters in this world surfaces. Sometimes it seems like those bad days at work, or those never ending mistakes, or that habit you're kicking yourself for are inescapable, and you'll never get it right.

But who does?

We can all throw our hands down and laugh at ourselves, because in the grand scheme none of the silly little choices really matter.  What seems to matter now will not matter so much 5 years from now, and what matters 5 years from now will not matter so much in the years when death draws near.

What really matters?
If life is about Christ, then living to share Christ is ALL that matters.
How easy to forget this!
But how freeing to know this!

If he is all that matters, then everything is always okay.
Someday, those who love him will stand before his throne lifting voices in worship
an endless sea of people
from all centuries
from all cultures
from the ends of the earth
praising the Hosanna

New

So there's this idea that once you come to know Christ, he makes you a new person.

But what does that look like?

Every moment we have an array of choices. Is knowing Christ making a choice unlike choices made before? How do we even gain the capacity to choose differently?

Each day we have moments to be the person we want to be. Reflection is key to living the life we want.  We must reflect on who we are, how others perceive us, and how we want to interact with others in order to decide yes this is me, or no I will be somehow different.  I think we do have choice in the way we live life-yes there's the nurture vs nature concept that we are products of our environments and genes- but are we really?  Reflection and agency enable us to become new.  But with Christ, there's a third enabler. The Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit empowers us to deny the impulsive, sinful choice and enact the Christ-like choice. But what a daily battle this is!!! A daily journey of becoming new.

You Are Worthy

This encapsulates everything I want to proclaim to young women.
"Regardless of who you think you are, you deserve someone who would give a life for you."

We are daughters of the King. Powerful. Beautiful. Lovely. Worthy.

Maybe the question to ask isn't "What Makes me Worthy?" but instead "Who Makes me Worthy?"

Zephaniah 3:17

¹⁷ The Lord your God is with you,
    the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
    in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
    but will rejoice over you with singing.

Women's Empowerment

I am so excited to be an advocate for women's rights.

Here's a quote from Half the Sky:

"Empowerment is a cliche in the aid community, but it is truly what is needed. The first step toward justice is to transform that culture of female docility and subservience, so that women themselves become more assertive and demanding. As we said earlier, that is, of course, easy for outsiders like us to say: We're not the ones who run horrible risks for speaking up. But when a woman does stand up, it's imperative that outsiders champion her; we also must nurture institutions to protect such people. Sometimes we may even need to  provide asylum for those whose lives are in danger. More broadly, the single most important way to encourage women and girls to stand up for their rights is education, and we can do far more to promote universal education in poor countries. (53)

Boo yah!!!! 

How to Beat Sorority Recruitment: Thoughts from a Legacy

I've been thinking about sorority recruitment recently because recruitment is currently happening at Ole Miss. Whenever I hear about my friends going through recruitment at Ole Miss, I wonder what my experience would have been like had I gone to Ole Miss.

I am a Chi Omega Legacy. My grandmother, aunts, mom, sister, and cousins were all members of Chi Omega at Ole Miss. 

I have nothing to say about Chi Omega except that it's a great sorority full of amazing young women many of whom are my friends.

But I want to say something about the whole recruitment process.
Getting selected to join a certain sorority is not an indicator of worth, but both men and women attribute greater worth to girls in certain sororities.

I chose to join Delta Zeta sorority during recruitment at Northwestern.
Before going to Northwestern, I turned down the opportunity to have an alumni of a "top" Northwestern sorority write me a letter of recommendation. Had I gone to OleMiss for college, the expectation is to get alumni to write you letters of recommendation because there are so many girls who go through the process.  I probably should have gotten alumni to write letters of rec for me at Northwestern, but I didn't want that.

Why?

I did not want to be selected for a sorority because of my connections. I wanted to be chosen for who I am.  

But I have come to understand that recruitment at any school works like the rest of life: Who you know makes a difference.

I entered the recruitment process excited about getting to know older girls.
But after the first night, my priorities shifted slightly--I was still excited about getting to know older girls, but I also did not want to be cut from sororities. And then I was cut!

I had come to Northwestern from a small high school where everyone knew me and everyone (as far as I could tell) seemed to like me. All of a sudden, girls who were sooooo sweet to my face cut me from their sororities! And you know what? That hurt! I couldn't help but think, "why didn't they want me to come back? What did I do wrong?  We had a great conversation!"

Well, I don't know why I got cut from 8 out of 12 sororities.

My family members joke that if I had had blonde hair instead of "purpley red hair" I would have gotten more bids! haha.

I knew so few girls in sororities that of course my chances at being remembered after a 15 minute conversation were less than girls who entered the process with older friends or high school connections. I was a random girl from Jackson, MS. Who knew me? Nobody. 

I think part of the reason I didn't "stand out" is that I was introverted and seemed sweet but boring (but when you get to know me... : ) That's the thing: these girls didn't KNOW me.  They didn't know me, nor could they have gotten to know me within the system of sorority recruitment! It's all a silly guessing game in which girls make snap evaluations in the hopes of finding girls who can become their best friends!  Why would I allow their opinions to inform how I viewed myself? Because all the girls around me going through the process said things out loud like, "Oh I hope I don't get called back to that sorority," or "that sorority has weird girls" or whatever. And I would hear these things, and think, "well those are the sororities who want me." haha ha? It was difficult not to say, "Look you have no right to evaluate the girls in sororities. You don't know them." But I never did because I didn't think they were in the right mindset to hear me.

The intentions of sorority recruitment are good: to choose girls who will love the sorority. That's great!

But I have some qualms with the system because it creates an implied hierarchy of women. Guess who determines which girls are at the top of the hierarchy? GUYS!  The "top" sororities at any school have the "prettiest" girls, the most "fun" girls, and the most "desirable" girls according to the frats (but this does not mean that the girls in certain sororities are necessarily the most datable or marriageable).  Now people may think, where does she draw that conclusion from? Here's my evidence of what messages fraternities can imply:  Fraternities decide which sororities they will have interactions with. There is a literal barrier in which "top" fraternities do not hang out with certain sororities! But sororities also determine which fraternities they will or will not spend time with...it's all pretty twisted. Not everyone abides by these barriers of course, but I have heard people say, "Oh you don't want to hang out with guys from that fraternity." Woah. Problematic?

The sorority recruitment system gone wrong perpetuates harmful messages about young women: you need to look a certain way, come from a certain level of money (to pay the fees), have a certain degree of "class", dress a certain way, be a certain race, and act a certain way to be valuable. Every sorority has qualifications they are looking for. And to a degree the qualifications do encourage young women to become their best selves.  Academics, extracurriculars, and behavioral choices are evaluated in consideration of choosing a girl for a sorority.

There are positives and there are negatives.   I am also upset by the lack of diversity that is acceptable and unquestioned within the Greek system. I encourage young women to look at the demographics of their sororities: is there ethnic diversity? Is there economic diversity? Is there geographical diversity? Is there "major" diversity? If not, why not?  What racial and class divisions does the Greek system perpetuate?

No system is perfect, and many systems of this world (beyond the Greek recruitment process) imply that some people have more worth than others.  But I know this: no matter how the sorority recruitment system implies that some girls are worth more than others, our source of self-worth and value comes from Christ.

He tells us that we are beautiful, worthy, and fearfully and wonderfully made. Every girl in every sorority is amazing at the heart!

I encourage any girl going through recruitment to consider how much God loves her. How much God has an amazing plan for her!

I loved Delta Zeta so much! I met many of my best friends from Northwestern in Delta Zeta. I loved my pledge family: Cate, Tami, and Kelly. I have many sweet memories of living in my sorority house for two years. My junior year roommate Haley is my favorite hippie (she and I are both nightowls...many great memories of latenight attempts to study)!!!!  I am inspired by many of the DZ young women: Frances Alexander, Aria Fiat, Steph Hill, Anna Jacobs, Amanda Haase, Julia Kiley, Melanie Gertzman, Minhee Kang, Sophia, Carmen Sandford, Emily Gerst, Kristen Goulee, Kirsten, Carly, Meggie, Julia, Margaret Whitesides, the Sig O clan, Melanie, Vanessa Lyons, Chloe!  Being part of Delta Zeta was a blessing during my time at Northwestern, and I thank God for placing me in that sorority. I didn't even know of Delta Zeta before going to NU.  But after having a conversation about beanie babies with one of the DZ girls, I knew it was the sorority for me : )

My DZ sisters might laugh knowing that I've was never really "into" the recruitment process. Small-talking while other people around me carry on conversations really stresses me out. I love to meet people, but as an introvert I cannot concentrate in a room full of girls having conversations.  To me, it sounds like a bunch of squawking chickens.

So I helped with food committee. This was so much fun!  The point of sorority recruitment in my opinion is to become closer with your current sisters. Since the process is so random and outside of anyone's control (being mutually selective), it is useless to "worry" about which girls will attend bid night. Things always work out incredibly!

So I KNOW it seems like a big deal not to get into a certain sorority, but I promise you God has a plan! Just trust and ponder how good he is, and know he has good things in store for those who love him.  He certainly did for me.

So that's my 411 on beating the recruitment process : )
Be thankful.  Know your worth. Know you are loved.

Sunset

Haven't yet discovered the best place to watch a sunset in Jackson, but Im gonna find it!!!

A Beautiful, Vulnerable Speech

Model Cameron Russell speaks about how Looks Aren't Everything

Awesome People

I love my co-workers Jamaar and Jasmine.

They said:
"Catherine you are really good at making awkward situations sound good."
Me: "Aww thanks."

"Catherine you have got to learn how to make people uncomfortable"

Yesssssss.

Courage to be Vulnerable

This is beautiful.

On the necessity of vulnerability.

On how vulnerability is strength.
Shame is the lie that tells us vulnerability is weak.
Brene Brown says that we have to talk about shame.

I love when I find affirmation from secular sources that to be vulnerable to be nontraditionally courageous is the most beautiful thing one could ever do.

I Am documentary

Tom Shadyac, director of many films including Ace Ventura, Bruce Almighty, and The Nutty Professor drastically altered his outlook on life, meaning, and significance after a tragic bike accident that left him experiencing the effects of a concussion for years. He came to realize that death is impending so people should find out the problems of the world and solutions now. His documentary I Am seeks answers from professors and spiritual leaders about the ails of the world and solutions. 

The film communicates how the culture of consumerism causes separation and competition that causes a majority of the trials humanity faces today.  Suffering persists because our culture has forgotten how community is more fulfilling than competition! If only every person's goal was not to succeed but instead to make sure that every person was fed, cared for, and provided for. Isn't that all that really matters?  That the sick, poor, downtrodden are cared for? Consumerism promotes the lie that we need this and this and this to be happy. But once the basic needs are met, food, health, shelter, then happiness and wealth are not correlated! Happiness is a choice.

Fascinating topic for further research: democratic decision making among animals! Like a school of fish.

Darwin wrote about the survival of the fittest. He mentioned that term twice, and he mentioned the word love 95 times. Why aren't topics like community and cooperation discussed in science classes?  The world functions most effectively when we care for others. The idea that men must compete to win women? Unhelpful. We survive through community. Monogamy is the most effective way to help children survive!

Mirror Neurons-->Empathy

Video about dad who surprises his son after returning from Iraq


Quote from Tom Shadyac:
'The more I give away the wealthier I feel,' he said. 'For everything I "gave up", so much more was returned. The trappings of fame and fortune are exactly that - a trapping. It's called the spoils of success for a reason.'

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2320451/Tom-Shadyac-Ace-Ventura-director-insists-taking-minimum-fee-new-movie.html#ixzz2fm3is8Ok
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