I've been thinking about sorority recruitment recently because recruitment is currently happening at Ole Miss. Whenever I hear about my friends going through recruitment at Ole Miss, I wonder what my experience would have been like had I gone to Ole Miss.
I am a Chi Omega Legacy. My grandmother, aunts, mom, sister, and cousins were all members of Chi Omega at Ole Miss.
I have nothing to say about Chi Omega except that it's a great sorority full of amazing young women many of whom are my friends.
But I want to say something about the whole recruitment process.
Getting selected to join a certain sorority is not an indicator of worth, but both men and women attribute greater worth to girls in certain sororities.
I chose to join Delta Zeta sorority during recruitment at Northwestern.
Before going to Northwestern, I turned down the opportunity to have an alumni of a "top" Northwestern sorority write me a letter of recommendation. Had I gone to OleMiss for college, the expectation is to get alumni to write you letters of recommendation because there are so many girls who go through the process. I probably should have gotten alumni to write letters of rec for me at Northwestern, but I didn't want that.
Why?
I did not want to be selected for a sorority because of my connections. I wanted to be chosen for who I am.
But I have come to understand that recruitment at any school works like the rest of life:
Who you know makes a difference.
I entered the recruitment process excited about getting to know older girls.
But after the first night, my priorities shifted slightly--I was still excited about getting to know older girls, but I also did not want to be cut from sororities. And then I was cut!
I had come to Northwestern from a small high school where everyone knew me and everyone (as far as I could tell) seemed to like me. All of a sudden, girls who were sooooo sweet to my face cut me from their sororities! And you know what? That hurt! I couldn't help but think, "why didn't they want me to come back? What did I do wrong? We had a great conversation!"
Well, I don't know why I got cut from 8 out of 12 sororities.
My family members joke that if I had had blonde hair instead of "purpley red hair" I would have gotten more bids! haha.
I knew so few girls in sororities that of course my chances at being remembered after a 15 minute conversation were less than girls who entered the process with older friends
or high school connections. I was a random girl from Jackson, MS. Who
knew me? Nobody.
I think part of the reason I didn't "stand out" is that I was introverted and seemed sweet but boring (but when you get to know me... : ) That's the thing: these girls didn't
KNOW me. They didn't know me, nor could they have gotten to know me within the system of sorority recruitment! It's all a silly guessing game in which girls make snap evaluations in the hopes of finding girls who can become their best friends! Why would I allow their opinions to inform how I viewed myself? Because all the girls around me going through the process said things out loud like, "Oh I hope I don't get called back to that sorority," or "that sorority has weird girls" or whatever. And I would hear these things, and think, "well those are the sororities who want me." haha ha? It was difficult not to say, "Look you have no right to evaluate the girls in sororities. You don't know them." But I never did because I didn't think they were in the right mindset to
hear me.
The intentions of sorority recruitment are good: to choose girls who will love the sorority. That's great!
But I have some qualms with the system because it creates an implied hierarchy of women. Guess who determines which girls are at the top of the hierarchy? GUYS! The "top" sororities at any school have the "prettiest" girls, the most "fun" girls, and the most "desirable" girls according to the frats (but this does not mean that the girls in certain sororities are necessarily the most datable or marriageable). Now people may think, where does she draw that conclusion from? Here's my evidence of what messages fraternities can imply: Fraternities decide which sororities they will have interactions with. There is a literal barrier in which "top" fraternities do not hang out with certain sororities! But sororities also determine which fraternities they will or will not spend time with...it's all pretty twisted. Not everyone abides by these barriers of course, but I have heard people say, "Oh you don't want to hang out with guys from that fraternity." Woah. Problematic?
The sorority recruitment system gone wrong perpetuates harmful messages about young women: you need to look a certain way, come from a certain level of money (to pay the fees), have a certain degree of "class", dress a certain way, be a certain race, and act a certain way to be valuable. Every sorority has qualifications they are looking for. And to a degree the qualifications do encourage young women to become their best selves. Academics, extracurriculars, and behavioral choices are evaluated in consideration of choosing a girl for a sorority.
There are positives and there are negatives. I am also upset by the lack of diversity that is acceptable and unquestioned within the Greek system. I encourage young women to look at the demographics of their sororities: is there ethnic diversity? Is there economic diversity? Is there geographical diversity? Is there "major" diversity? If not, why not? What racial and class divisions does the Greek system perpetuate?
No system is perfect, and many systems of this world (beyond the Greek recruitment process) imply that some people have more worth than others. But I know this: no matter how the sorority recruitment system implies that some girls are worth more than others, our source of self-worth and value comes from Christ.
He tells us that we are beautiful, worthy, and fearfully and wonderfully made. Every girl in every sorority is amazing at the heart!
I encourage any girl going through recruitment to consider how much God loves her. How much God has an amazing plan for her!
I loved Delta Zeta so much! I met many of my best friends from Northwestern in Delta Zeta. I loved my pledge family: Cate, Tami, and Kelly. I have many sweet memories of living in my sorority house for two years. My junior year roommate Haley is my favorite hippie (she and I are both nightowls...many great memories of latenight attempts to study)!!!! I am inspired by many of the DZ young women: Frances Alexander, Aria Fiat, Steph Hill, Anna Jacobs, Amanda Haase, Julia Kiley, Melanie Gertzman, Minhee Kang, Sophia, Carmen Sandford, Emily Gerst, Kristen Goulee, Kirsten, Carly, Meggie, Julia, Margaret Whitesides, the Sig O clan, Melanie, Vanessa Lyons, Chloe! Being part of Delta Zeta was a blessing during my time at Northwestern, and I thank God for placing me in that sorority. I didn't even know of Delta Zeta before going to NU. But after having a conversation about beanie babies with one of the DZ girls, I knew it was the sorority for me : )
My DZ sisters might laugh knowing that I've was never really "into" the recruitment process. Small-talking while other people around me carry on conversations really stresses me out. I love to meet people, but as an introvert I cannot concentrate in a room full of girls having conversations. To me, it sounds like a bunch of squawking chickens.
So I helped with food committee. This was so much fun! The point of sorority recruitment in my opinion is to become closer with your current sisters. Since the process is so random and outside of anyone's control (being mutually selective), it is useless to "worry" about which girls will attend bid night. Things always work out incredibly!
So I KNOW it seems like a big deal not to get into a certain sorority, but I promise you God has a plan! Just trust and ponder how good he is, and know he has good things in store for those who love him. He certainly did for me.
So that's my 411 on beating the recruitment process : )
Be thankful. Know your worth. Know you are loved.
