Faithful

It's funny how Gods faithfulness becomes clear. When we have nothing certain to cling to, his goodness draws us close.

At the Foot of the Cross

I love this song.

 

Lyrics

I trade this ashes in for beauty

And wear forgiveness like a crown

Coming to kiss the feet of mercy

I lay every burden down

At the foot of the cross

So amazing. How thankful I am for the cross. When I think about the times I have been so lost, so far from God because of my idols (relationships, achievements, future), I realize how faithful Christ is. He draws me back to him when I am lost. 

A Christmas Carol

Rehearsal for A Christmas Carol makes me realize what a wonderful thing theatre is! Contradictory to the individualistic lifestyles promoted by modern American consumerism, theatre brings people together. Total strangers working towards a common goal: to tell a story. A story that stirs, inspires, challenges, and awakens the heart to the beauty of relationships and the importance of being thankful for the people in our lives.  And we as a community of storytellers invite audiences to participate in this story with us. Each performance is unique because the audience is another character in the mold. Theatre unveils the beauty of unpredictability. Uncertainty allows unexpected wonder to arise-all the hardships, struggles, challenges of putting together a show are worthwhile for those moments of joy, connection, laughter one finds in theatre.  Life is like this too. The bad is worth enduring because the good greatly surpasses any memory of struggle.  So much beauty to give life loveliness.

Who said that success, wealth, and achievement are more important than community, service, and relationships??? Isn't the point of "work" to contribute to the world with ones gifts?  Your calling in life is where your great joy meets the worlds great need. We are all fearfully and wonderfully made.

I am so glad to be me! And I am so glad you are you!

UnReal

Amazing trio gymnastics routine!  Unbelievable.

http://bbh.cc/mouth-open/

Sometimes I wonder who I might be had I continued to train as a gymnast...
Rio 2016?
Once upon a time, I dreamed I might be in the olympics...
sometimes dreams change...

Personal Stories from Women who have had Abortions

http://nymag.com/news/features/abortion-stories-2013-11/

Abortion never seems to be discussed in any kind of personal way, but what could be more personal than a woman deciding whether or not to allow her unborn child to live?  These vulnerable stories shed light on the emotional struggles connected to the issue of abortion.

What strikes me most after reading these stories is that the girls are alone in facing the confusion, uncertainty, regret, shame, and other emotions accompanying abortion.  Why do we allow these women to face this kind of trauma alone?  What can we do, as a nation, to better care for these women who are often victims of disillusionment, manipulation, and recklessness?

What can we do?

For these women to vulnerably share their stories--without justifying the behavior or qualifying their actions--is a start.  Young women need to be able to talk with friends and family without the fear of judgment, especially when it comes to something as life-changing as pregnancy.  How do we stop stigmatizing the women but instead publicly and privately offer love, comfort, and support?

Many pregnancies that women choose to terminate may be accidental, even though the women took every precaution possible.   But there are also many situations in which women make rash choices, this seems especially true for the stories written by young women.  What's unsettling is that often women bear the consequences of rash choices while men can walk away "guiltless".

Why isn't there more initiative to challenge men to act responsibly? If abortion is such a HUGE issue in our nation, then why aren't policy makers, educators, and protestors confronting the underlying reality that both men and women must be held accountable for their choices?  Unfortunately, our government doesn't regulate moral values.  It's time to broaden the conversation and challenge men and women to look at the overall picture. 

Two Examples taken from the stories in the article
Scenario A
Woman gets pregnant.
Boyfriend convinces her to have an abortion.
She does.
She deals with the regret, shame, fear of that action her whole life.
Boyfriend leaves.

Who loses?

Scenario B
Woman gets pregnant.
She decides to have the child.
She must raise the child.
Boyfriend leaves (but pays child welfare fees).

Who loses?

It seems like women inevitably lose. And what are we doing to care for them?

How to change this?
Education.
Conversation.
Dialogue.
Free of judgment.
But dialogue nonetheless.
What is the value of human life?
What is the value of abstinence?
What is the value of marriage?
What responsibility accompanies accidental pregnancy?
What consequences accompany abortion?

Conversation in which people can be honest about their perspectives and actions--that freedom to be known and understood could possibly prevent harmful scenarios (A & B) and also allow space for much needed healing.

Feminism

http://redemptionpictures.com/2013/11/12/how-feminism-hurts-men/

Christian man writing about feminism. The perfect article for this blog.

Family

I think the secret to happiness is family-not biological family but the feeling of family, the feeling of being at home. It's amazing to me that every transition has an adjustment phase, and usually the beginning is the most difficult. But ever so slowly, the feeling of family sneaks up and you realize you feel safe, valued for you as you.  I think this has got to be what we all really crave-the safety and ease of being authentic and being loved (or accepted and celebrated).

I'm finding that Im starting to feel the joy of family in the theatre company. Honesty, authenticity, ease. Good feeling.

We really don't need anything but a good home and people to love- it's amazing how I and so many people waste time striving for what does not satisfy, for what does not bring lasting joy.

The secret of a contented heart? Gratitude for the people God puts in our path, loving them enough to put their needs before ones own.

Delight yourself in The Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Pondering the meaning of delighting in the Lord. So much to learn.

Conversation with High Schooler

Me: I think you would really like Northwestern! Are you thinking about applying?

Girl: No, I just don't want to go there. This kid in my high school got in pre-med to go straight into medschool.

Me: What's wrong with that?

Girl: He's just really into himself.

Me: Well the admissions people can't tell that. They probably think it's confidence. If he acted like a jerk to them, they wouldn't take him unless he's brilliant I guess. But not everyone is like that! I made so many awesome friends.

Girl: Yeah he's confident. He wants to be a gynocologist. And he delivered babies in India before his junior year.

Me: Yeah not everyone is like that...I never delivered babies...Gosh delivered babies in India? Don't ya hate kids like that?

Things Only Theatre People Say

"Dang, I've got to go get shot now."

"Man, I gotta go get that guys dead baby!"

"Did ya take Grandpa out of the grave?"

"Oh no he's totally not going to marry her. He's secretly gay."

"Do ya got soup or milk?" How about super milk!

Failure

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: but it is the courage to continue that counts." Winston Churchill

Overcoming discouragement in the face of failure can be difficult.  There are many routes we can choose if we fail: 1) laugh it off and think it's not a big deal 2) recognize the gravity of letting others down & apologize 3) repent and reflect on how to change

I like the third option. Forgetting what lies behind and seeing what lies ahead.  

I've spent a great deal of energy trying to prevent failures. It never works.  Somehow I always find myself doing something not quite right, or ruffling feathers, or receiving frustrated complaints (for example while compiling a script from journals at 5am before class the next day).

But I've gotta ask myself, what's the point? What's the point of worrying so much about failure?

There is only one person who never failed.  What is amazing about Christ is that he followed through with the most difficult promise-sacrificing his life!  And because he never failed, his life makes us trustworthy. We are trustworthy to God! He can include us in his plan for redemption even though we will fail, oh we certainly will.

I struggle with failure because it's important to me not to disappoint others, and especially not to make others feel uncared for.  But I fail at this all the time!!!  Knowing grace is such a good thing, he sets me free to look ahead to Him. He sets me free to change.

What Matters

Listening to these songs, what really matters in this world surfaces. Sometimes it seems like those bad days at work, or those never ending mistakes, or that habit you're kicking yourself for are inescapable, and you'll never get it right.

But who does?

We can all throw our hands down and laugh at ourselves, because in the grand scheme none of the silly little choices really matter.  What seems to matter now will not matter so much 5 years from now, and what matters 5 years from now will not matter so much in the years when death draws near.

What really matters?
If life is about Christ, then living to share Christ is ALL that matters.
How easy to forget this!
But how freeing to know this!

If he is all that matters, then everything is always okay.
Someday, those who love him will stand before his throne lifting voices in worship
an endless sea of people
from all centuries
from all cultures
from the ends of the earth
praising the Hosanna

New

So there's this idea that once you come to know Christ, he makes you a new person.

But what does that look like?

Every moment we have an array of choices. Is knowing Christ making a choice unlike choices made before? How do we even gain the capacity to choose differently?

Each day we have moments to be the person we want to be. Reflection is key to living the life we want.  We must reflect on who we are, how others perceive us, and how we want to interact with others in order to decide yes this is me, or no I will be somehow different.  I think we do have choice in the way we live life-yes there's the nurture vs nature concept that we are products of our environments and genes- but are we really?  Reflection and agency enable us to become new.  But with Christ, there's a third enabler. The Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit empowers us to deny the impulsive, sinful choice and enact the Christ-like choice. But what a daily battle this is!!! A daily journey of becoming new.

You Are Worthy

This encapsulates everything I want to proclaim to young women.
"Regardless of who you think you are, you deserve someone who would give a life for you."

We are daughters of the King. Powerful. Beautiful. Lovely. Worthy.

Maybe the question to ask isn't "What Makes me Worthy?" but instead "Who Makes me Worthy?"

Zephaniah 3:17

¹⁷ The Lord your God is with you,
    the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
    in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
    but will rejoice over you with singing.

Women's Empowerment

I am so excited to be an advocate for women's rights.

Here's a quote from Half the Sky:

"Empowerment is a cliche in the aid community, but it is truly what is needed. The first step toward justice is to transform that culture of female docility and subservience, so that women themselves become more assertive and demanding. As we said earlier, that is, of course, easy for outsiders like us to say: We're not the ones who run horrible risks for speaking up. But when a woman does stand up, it's imperative that outsiders champion her; we also must nurture institutions to protect such people. Sometimes we may even need to  provide asylum for those whose lives are in danger. More broadly, the single most important way to encourage women and girls to stand up for their rights is education, and we can do far more to promote universal education in poor countries. (53)

Boo yah!!!! 

How to Beat Sorority Recruitment: Thoughts from a Legacy

I've been thinking about sorority recruitment recently because recruitment is currently happening at Ole Miss. Whenever I hear about my friends going through recruitment at Ole Miss, I wonder what my experience would have been like had I gone to Ole Miss.

I am a Chi Omega Legacy. My grandmother, aunts, mom, sister, and cousins were all members of Chi Omega at Ole Miss. 

I have nothing to say about Chi Omega except that it's a great sorority full of amazing young women many of whom are my friends.

But I want to say something about the whole recruitment process.
Getting selected to join a certain sorority is not an indicator of worth, but both men and women attribute greater worth to girls in certain sororities.

I chose to join Delta Zeta sorority during recruitment at Northwestern.
Before going to Northwestern, I turned down the opportunity to have an alumni of a "top" Northwestern sorority write me a letter of recommendation. Had I gone to OleMiss for college, the expectation is to get alumni to write you letters of recommendation because there are so many girls who go through the process.  I probably should have gotten alumni to write letters of rec for me at Northwestern, but I didn't want that.

Why?

I did not want to be selected for a sorority because of my connections. I wanted to be chosen for who I am.  

But I have come to understand that recruitment at any school works like the rest of life: Who you know makes a difference.

I entered the recruitment process excited about getting to know older girls.
But after the first night, my priorities shifted slightly--I was still excited about getting to know older girls, but I also did not want to be cut from sororities. And then I was cut!

I had come to Northwestern from a small high school where everyone knew me and everyone (as far as I could tell) seemed to like me. All of a sudden, girls who were sooooo sweet to my face cut me from their sororities! And you know what? That hurt! I couldn't help but think, "why didn't they want me to come back? What did I do wrong?  We had a great conversation!"

Well, I don't know why I got cut from 8 out of 12 sororities.

My family members joke that if I had had blonde hair instead of "purpley red hair" I would have gotten more bids! haha.

I knew so few girls in sororities that of course my chances at being remembered after a 15 minute conversation were less than girls who entered the process with older friends or high school connections. I was a random girl from Jackson, MS. Who knew me? Nobody. 

I think part of the reason I didn't "stand out" is that I was introverted and seemed sweet but boring (but when you get to know me... : ) That's the thing: these girls didn't KNOW me.  They didn't know me, nor could they have gotten to know me within the system of sorority recruitment! It's all a silly guessing game in which girls make snap evaluations in the hopes of finding girls who can become their best friends!  Why would I allow their opinions to inform how I viewed myself? Because all the girls around me going through the process said things out loud like, "Oh I hope I don't get called back to that sorority," or "that sorority has weird girls" or whatever. And I would hear these things, and think, "well those are the sororities who want me." haha ha? It was difficult not to say, "Look you have no right to evaluate the girls in sororities. You don't know them." But I never did because I didn't think they were in the right mindset to hear me.

The intentions of sorority recruitment are good: to choose girls who will love the sorority. That's great!

But I have some qualms with the system because it creates an implied hierarchy of women. Guess who determines which girls are at the top of the hierarchy? GUYS!  The "top" sororities at any school have the "prettiest" girls, the most "fun" girls, and the most "desirable" girls according to the frats (but this does not mean that the girls in certain sororities are necessarily the most datable or marriageable).  Now people may think, where does she draw that conclusion from? Here's my evidence of what messages fraternities can imply:  Fraternities decide which sororities they will have interactions with. There is a literal barrier in which "top" fraternities do not hang out with certain sororities! But sororities also determine which fraternities they will or will not spend time with...it's all pretty twisted. Not everyone abides by these barriers of course, but I have heard people say, "Oh you don't want to hang out with guys from that fraternity." Woah. Problematic?

The sorority recruitment system gone wrong perpetuates harmful messages about young women: you need to look a certain way, come from a certain level of money (to pay the fees), have a certain degree of "class", dress a certain way, be a certain race, and act a certain way to be valuable. Every sorority has qualifications they are looking for. And to a degree the qualifications do encourage young women to become their best selves.  Academics, extracurriculars, and behavioral choices are evaluated in consideration of choosing a girl for a sorority.

There are positives and there are negatives.   I am also upset by the lack of diversity that is acceptable and unquestioned within the Greek system. I encourage young women to look at the demographics of their sororities: is there ethnic diversity? Is there economic diversity? Is there geographical diversity? Is there "major" diversity? If not, why not?  What racial and class divisions does the Greek system perpetuate?

No system is perfect, and many systems of this world (beyond the Greek recruitment process) imply that some people have more worth than others.  But I know this: no matter how the sorority recruitment system implies that some girls are worth more than others, our source of self-worth and value comes from Christ.

He tells us that we are beautiful, worthy, and fearfully and wonderfully made. Every girl in every sorority is amazing at the heart!

I encourage any girl going through recruitment to consider how much God loves her. How much God has an amazing plan for her!

I loved Delta Zeta so much! I met many of my best friends from Northwestern in Delta Zeta. I loved my pledge family: Cate, Tami, and Kelly. I have many sweet memories of living in my sorority house for two years. My junior year roommate Haley is my favorite hippie (she and I are both nightowls...many great memories of latenight attempts to study)!!!!  I am inspired by many of the DZ young women: Frances Alexander, Aria Fiat, Steph Hill, Anna Jacobs, Amanda Haase, Julia Kiley, Melanie Gertzman, Minhee Kang, Sophia, Carmen Sandford, Emily Gerst, Kristen Goulee, Kirsten, Carly, Meggie, Julia, Margaret Whitesides, the Sig O clan, Melanie, Vanessa Lyons, Chloe!  Being part of Delta Zeta was a blessing during my time at Northwestern, and I thank God for placing me in that sorority. I didn't even know of Delta Zeta before going to NU.  But after having a conversation about beanie babies with one of the DZ girls, I knew it was the sorority for me : )

My DZ sisters might laugh knowing that I've was never really "into" the recruitment process. Small-talking while other people around me carry on conversations really stresses me out. I love to meet people, but as an introvert I cannot concentrate in a room full of girls having conversations.  To me, it sounds like a bunch of squawking chickens.

So I helped with food committee. This was so much fun!  The point of sorority recruitment in my opinion is to become closer with your current sisters. Since the process is so random and outside of anyone's control (being mutually selective), it is useless to "worry" about which girls will attend bid night. Things always work out incredibly!

So I KNOW it seems like a big deal not to get into a certain sorority, but I promise you God has a plan! Just trust and ponder how good he is, and know he has good things in store for those who love him.  He certainly did for me.

So that's my 411 on beating the recruitment process : )
Be thankful.  Know your worth. Know you are loved.

Sunset

Haven't yet discovered the best place to watch a sunset in Jackson, but Im gonna find it!!!

A Beautiful, Vulnerable Speech

Model Cameron Russell speaks about how Looks Aren't Everything

Awesome People

I love my co-workers Jamaar and Jasmine.

They said:
"Catherine you are really good at making awkward situations sound good."
Me: "Aww thanks."

"Catherine you have got to learn how to make people uncomfortable"

Yesssssss.

Courage to be Vulnerable

This is beautiful.

On the necessity of vulnerability.

On how vulnerability is strength.
Shame is the lie that tells us vulnerability is weak.
Brene Brown says that we have to talk about shame.

I love when I find affirmation from secular sources that to be vulnerable to be nontraditionally courageous is the most beautiful thing one could ever do.

I Am documentary

Tom Shadyac, director of many films including Ace Ventura, Bruce Almighty, and The Nutty Professor drastically altered his outlook on life, meaning, and significance after a tragic bike accident that left him experiencing the effects of a concussion for years. He came to realize that death is impending so people should find out the problems of the world and solutions now. His documentary I Am seeks answers from professors and spiritual leaders about the ails of the world and solutions. 

The film communicates how the culture of consumerism causes separation and competition that causes a majority of the trials humanity faces today.  Suffering persists because our culture has forgotten how community is more fulfilling than competition! If only every person's goal was not to succeed but instead to make sure that every person was fed, cared for, and provided for. Isn't that all that really matters?  That the sick, poor, downtrodden are cared for? Consumerism promotes the lie that we need this and this and this to be happy. But once the basic needs are met, food, health, shelter, then happiness and wealth are not correlated! Happiness is a choice.

Fascinating topic for further research: democratic decision making among animals! Like a school of fish.

Darwin wrote about the survival of the fittest. He mentioned that term twice, and he mentioned the word love 95 times. Why aren't topics like community and cooperation discussed in science classes?  The world functions most effectively when we care for others. The idea that men must compete to win women? Unhelpful. We survive through community. Monogamy is the most effective way to help children survive!

Mirror Neurons-->Empathy

Video about dad who surprises his son after returning from Iraq


Quote from Tom Shadyac:
'The more I give away the wealthier I feel,' he said. 'For everything I "gave up", so much more was returned. The trappings of fame and fortune are exactly that - a trapping. It's called the spoils of success for a reason.'

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2320451/Tom-Shadyac-Ace-Ventura-director-insists-taking-minimum-fee-new-movie.html#ixzz2fm3is8Ok
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Play and Games!

So I like to play this game, and it's super fun (for me!). It's called, the "Why Do People do What They Do?" Game. So anytime someone talks to me about a problem, I analyze both parties in the situation.

Like this:
Why do you think he/she is acting that way?
What does he/she need?
Let's think about where he/she is coming from?
Do you think it has anything to do with how they feel about...
How does that person's actions make you feel?
What is that feeling about..ahhh so it's really about...

I don't know why this is so much fun for me.

But it's actually really effective because if people are mean, I don't get upset, I just start to figure out the problem like a puzzle. Why would he/she act this way? Where is he/she coming from? What have I done to cause those feelings? What else is going on in his/her life?

It's like analyzing characters but in life.

My experience in acting class taught me to see how when people say something, they are communicating so many unarticulated messages! That's the truth of human communication: we say one thing, but actually are TRYING to communicate something else, but are too afraid to say it. Or we aren't aware of what we really want to say.

Great drama uses roundabout dialogue to communicate the truth.

Hmm what's an example?
Ooo Ginger & Rosa has a fascinating example of this!

Ginger's mom makes a delightful dinner for her husband Roland.
Roland has been emotionally distant and also physically absent.
Roland disapproves of the food.
A fight ensues.
Ginger's mom cries because Roland does not appreciate her food.
"Why don't you like my food?" she says.
What she really means is this, "Why don't you love me?"
And Roland, Oh Roland, knows. Oh he knows. Jasmine said, boys always know how to behave correctly, but they always make excuses to do what they want. hahaha.
unfortunately tis true too often.
Roland says, "This is emotional manipulation."
But what does he mean? It's very hard to sympathize with this character who is so oblivious to the pain he causes his wife and daughter. He only changes his heart at the end of the movie.
But so why does he say something as harsh and cruel as "This is emotional manipulation." in response to his weeping wife?
Wow what a dousy.
How is he so heartless? He must validly believe that his actions are justified. People usually believe their actions are justified when they do the action...afterwards, they can see their mistakes.
Hmm well Roland harps on the fact that he was arrested during the war for standing up for his beliefs. (this backstory is not fully developed, so I'm uncertain about the details).
Perhaps, he hardened his heart in order to survive. A survivor technique. To shut down. Totally a survivor technique. It works. For Awhile.
Or perhaps, he legitimately believes she is manipulating him and there is a history of manipulation that makes him unhappy. But ahhh...see here's the real issue: Ginger's mom values marriage. Ginger's mom wants a husband who loves her. Ginger's mom wants to be cared for, given attention, and with a happy home. BUT Roland does not value the sanctity of marriage. He does not (at his core) believe that marriage should be treated as unbreakable. Instead he looks at marriage as a sort of temporary relationship that one may break and bend at one's convenience.
So there is a distinct unequal yoke there. Ginger's mom wants a husband who gives his all to make marriage work. But what Ginger's mom has is a man who believes he is justified in leaving marriage on a whim instead of fighting to work things out. Roland is selfish. Although he cannot understand this because he believes so fundamentally in "nonconformity" as truth. If it's breaking the rules, then it's correct. Wow. Fascinating. Roland has a history of brokenness that is not unveiled in the story, but there are many factors influencing his behavior. For one, his mother left him as a child. Hm that certainly communicates to a child that one's parent has no obligation to stick around. It's amazing seeing how parents' behavior communicates such subtle but impacting messages that can affect children for a lifetime. So this example illustrates the way words often communicate much more than is said. This example also unveils how to play, "Why Do People do What They Do?"

1st New Thought Thread
Adults in general must be so careful about the way they treat children because without perspective anything can be tremendously hurtful.

Two stories from my childhood:
       One day, I came to preschool with two lovely half-ponytails. I thought they were so pretty. Then while I was climbing the monkey bars, my half-ponytails fell out!
       I approached my teacher and asked if she or any of the other teachers could fix my hair back the way my mom had fixed it. This teacher perhaps was confused, so instead of giving me half-ponytails, she put my hair in two pippy longstocking pigtails. Not only did she fail to make my hair pretty, but also she exclaimed, "look she looks like a puppy dog!" and she and all the teachers laughed at me.

      In first grade, we would individually spell our spelling words on the whiteboard for our class.  My word was the word Lion. So I walked up to the board and carefully wrote the letters: L O I N. All of a sudden, my teacher could not stop laughing. She was cracking up that I had spelled the world loin instead of lion. I didn't understand, and I so embarrassed.

I still remember the unpleasant feelings of these experiences. And these memories teach me that I should never laugh at kids when they don't understand something. It's not their fault. They are children.

2nd New Thought Thread
Today, I taught the most wonderful 1st grade students. I love first graders. They love me! The first graders all said that one of their favorite parts of the day was meeting me. I miss my first grade campers in Kodiak. They were such beautiful people.  I miss seeing their sweet faces and playing games after camp and hearing them chant my name to participate in counselor challenge. hmmm. I just want to be a perpetual camp counselor.

I also really enjoyed working with the 4th-6th graders. They were so fun! One little girl came into class and skipped around the room dancing. So I joined in and the other students joined in.

I love how youth love to play! I love how they love to be creative. I love how nothing is off-limits, and everything is fun and adventurous. There are no inhibitions, no walls, just freedom to create, to imagine, to be. I believe this inner child lives in all of us and yearns to be set free.

Art from Suffering

21 Comics That Capture the Frustrations of Depression

so beautiful to portray the pain of depression in a way that makes it okay. saying,"look it's a real thing, worth making comic strips about." validating emotion. into it.

Quote

What doesn't destroy you only makes you stronger. 

How awesome! Struggles empower one to help others and love them more fully! Struggles help is empathize, relate, believe, love!

National Talk Like a Pirate Day

New Stage produced Pirates of Penzance last summer.

Also, 

Little kids walk up to you and talk about treasure chests. He told us he has a puzzle treasure map.

Time

There is a time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. Ecclesiastes 3:4

Inequality for All Documentary

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9REdcxfie3M

Trailer for new documentary about the need to grow and support the middle class. He analyzes why the American economy grew so dramatically during and after WWII. How can we now emulate the positives of that time period? What can we learn from the past?

Introversion and Creativity

Introversion is wonderful.

According to Myers Briggs, most of the world's great writers were INFPs. I'll take that : )

Article about Segregation in the US

http://www.wired.com/design/2013/08/how-segregated-is-your-city-this-eye-opening-map-shows-you/#slideid-210501

The segregation in certain communities is stark!

Hayden

Hayden loves to rub his face on my feet. ???

Women and Self-Criticism

Article from Oprah Magazine Women and the Negativity Factor that explains some neurological reasons that women have low self-esteem and are prone to self-criticism.

Fascinating.

Excerpt:

"It turns out there's an area of your brain that's assigned the task of negative thinking," says Louann Brizendine, MD, a neuropsychiatrist at the University of California, San Francisco, and the author of The Female Brain. "It's judgmental. It says 'I'm too fat' or 'I'm too old.' It's a barometer of every social interaction you have. It goes on red alert when the feedback you're getting from other people isn't going well." This worrywart part of the brain is the anterior cingulate cortex. In women, it's actually larger and more influential, as is the brain circuitry for observing emotions in others. "The reason we think females have more emotional sensitivity," says Brizendine, "is that we've been built to be immediately responsive to the needs of a nonverbal infant. That can be both a good thing and a bad thing."

The hormonal surges in the female brain—what Brizendine describes as the rising tide of estrogen and progesterone—make a woman more sensitive to emotional nuance, such as disapproval or rejection.

A study at the University of Texas how easily body image is undermined: A group of adolescent girls were in a room with an attractive woman who complained about how fat she was (the implication being that anybody who was heavier than she would really have something to complain about). There was an immediate impact on the body image of the girls, even though the encounter was brief and the woman was a stranger. "Up to 50 percent of adolescent girls have body image concerns," says Eric Stice, PhD, lead researcher on that study. "Up to 70 percent of girls say they would take a pill to lose five pounds; with males, it's maybe 15 percent. And puberty moves young men toward the ideal male body image, strong and muscled, but moves young women away from the ideal female body image, lean with no hips. It's really sad that adolescent girls look at airbrushed images in the media that aren't even real. They're killing themselves for something that isn't real."

Augusto Boal

"It is only possible to teach something to someone who teaches us something back. Teaching is a transitive process, a dialogue, just as all human relations should be dialogues: men and women, blacks and whites, one class and another, between countries. But we know that these dialogues, if not carefully nurtured or energetically demanded, can very rapidly turn into monologues, in which only one of the ‘interlocutors’ has the right to speak: one sex, one class, one race, one group of countries. And the other parties are reduced to silence, to obedience; they are oppressed. And this is the Paulo-Freirian concept of the oppressed: dialogue which turns into monologue." Augusto Boal

We is he sooo coooollll???? Naphtali Fields would agree with me : )
Michael Rohd got to work with Augusto Boal...omg. omg. 

My co-workers

"I couldn't watch Lord of the Rings cause there are too many short people in it."-Jasmine

"I have a short complex. Couldn't watch Snow White." Jasmine

"No Im telling you that the witches (in Wizard of Oz) wanted to feel superior, and everyone else around you is short you're gonna feel uncomfortable."-Jasmine

"The thing that makes me uncomfortable with clowns is that their face is happy, but they are doing mean thing."-Jasmine

"Do you like movies in which people die?" Jamaar

"No. Who likes it when people die?" Me

"Jasmine likes when people die in movies cause that's real." Jamaar

A Friend's Poem

An old friend from Northwestern wrote this on facebook. It's truly beautiful.

"we accept the brokenness of the system
we love/fight with the wisdom of our hearts
with the calmness of our mind
we acknowledge that those who are lost
are not for nought
that every single human life is precious
and the color of our skin should not determine
the quality of our life
we are honoring the emmit tills, the oscar grants,
the trayvon martins; the anne franks, the gandhijis, and the abraham lincolns -every life that has been lost
we are honoring the murdered
and the murderers
we cannot live with a system that gives rise to this violence
for if we do
we will not live at all
we must create a world
in which justice is served
not with a silver bullet
or a lifetime in jail
but one in which the heart of one can meet another and
recollect, acknowledge, and forgive the pain that is inside us both
how can we have a call for action that
breaks down these systems of injustice
that stops the human spirit from breaking
is there a way in which we can thrive with and in each other?
let us create a world in which we all thrive"
           -Prachi Murarka 

Looking back, God put me on a path to connect with some pretty amazing, beautiful people who have shaped me (for the better I hope!).

5th Favorite Book?

Have ordered George Macdonald's The Princess and the Goblin and The Princess and Curdie . I remember loving these books as a little girl.  Our school library only had The Princess and the Goblin and I searched for The Princess and Curdie for years! I don't believe I ever actually read the second book.

On a quest to discover my 5th favorite book. Seems like a good idea to revisit favorite books of younger days:
Bridge to Terebithia
The Lovely Bones
Ballet Shoes
Jane Eyre
Wuthering Heights
Little Women
Little House on the Prairie
Dracula
Anne of Green Gables
Girl with a Pearl Earring
Anna Karenina
The Picture of Dorian Gray
Into the Wild
Swiss Family Robinson
A Wrinkle in Time (series)
The Sound in the Fury
Charlotte's Web
The Lord of the Rings
Things Fall Apart
To Kill a Mockingbird
White Teeth
Caucasia
The BFG
James and the Giant Peach
The Hiding Place
The Diary of a Young Girl
Strange Pilgrims
Night
The Giver
Flowers for Algernon
A Walk in Victoria's Secret
The Road to Memphis
Song of the Trees
The Secret Garden
The Little Princess
The Light Princess
Number the Stars
The Boxcar Children
Pollyanna
Heidi
Matilda
oh a book in which the main character was named Marigold! what was the title?

A Tree Grows in Brooklynn

Their Eyes Were Watching God

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks

The Little Way of Ruthie Lemming

Gossamer

Crime and Punishment

Betrayal-Pinter

Suzan Zeders The Ware Trilogy

Glass Menagerie

Paradise Lost

The Bean Trees

Peter Pan

The Hunger Games

Harry Potter

Chronicles of Narnia

The Hound of the Baskervilles

Giovanni's Room

The Jungle Book (check out the performance at The Goodman!)

Some books I read in High School & College but did not fully read or enjoy. Going to try reading them again without the "ugh I have too much to read and not enough time" attitude.
Great Expectations
A Tale of Two Cities
Huckleberry Finn
The Unvanquished
Don Quixote
The Scarlet Letter
Alice in Wonderland
Ulysses
Mrs. Dalloway
The Ponder Heart
The Stranger
Fahrenheit 451
Animal Farm
Cat's Cradle (freaked me out)
1984
Catch-22
Metamorphoses
Pride and Prejudice
The Bell Jar
The Grapes of Wrath

Shakespeare!!!

Oreistea

The Color Purple
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man

Books I have never read but should:
Moby Dick
Gulliver's Travels
The Wind in the Willows
Life of Pi
Frankenstein
The Brothers Karamazov
A Passage to India
The Light in August
As I Lay Dying
Brave New World
Absalom. Absalom!
A Rose for Emily
Catcher in the Rye
Lord of the Flies
Lolita
A Bend in the River
Northern Lights
Love in the Time of Cholera
Borges
The Bluest Eye
Song of Solomon
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
Sense and Sensitivity
The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Blue Like Jazz
The Secret Life of Bees
Sold
Native Son
The Book Thief
The Phantom Tollbooth
Kaffir Boy: The True Story of a Black Youth's Coming to Age in Apartheid South Africa
The Witches
Island of the Blue Dolphins 

The Idiot

Les Miserables

Gathering Blue

Beloved

Paradise Regained

Heart of Darkness

The Handmaids Tale

The Age of Innocence

Oliver
David Copperfield *** A suggestion...will it be worth the list? I'll have to see. : )

Top 100 Books according to the Guardian
Best books for 5th Graders


hahaha  Fun is not the adjective I would pair with math. Perhaps if I had read this book, I would feel differently.

Fun Books About Math

Sir Cumference and the First Round Table: A Math Adventure by Cindy Neuschwander, illustrated by Wayne Geehan (Charlesbridge Publishing, 1999).
This book is the perfect read-aloud to introduce the concepts of circumference, diameter and radius. Students will be exposed to many other geometric shapes as well. Children of all ages will enjoy this mathematical adventure. Sir Circumference and his Knight work to solve a mathematical dilemma. What would be the best-shaped table for Sir Circumference to gather his knights? Will it be a square, rectangle, parallelogram or circle? You must read to find out. 32 pages. Jennifer Thompson

The Fog Machine...

It's amazing how a janked, homemade fog machine can reveal to me how little common sense I have.

yes I have known this fact for a very long time. And people are often surprised to hear I went to a school like Northwestern. Books and I see eye to eye. But street smarts? Well...I'm workin on it.

Today was my second day to try to master the fog machine. Here are the basic steps:
A) Turn on the heater so that the water can get to a boil
B) Place bag of dry ice in the metal basket
C) Lower the basket through lowering a metal pipe on the top of the machine
D) Turn on the fan so that the fog flows out of a tube onto the stage

Not too difficult right?
Well yesterday, I stuck my hand into the machine to retrieve the bags only to find that instead of a wire basket I was touching boiling water! OWWWW.

So during the scene today, I was contemplating, "Should I stick my hand in the water again? I need more dry ice but I have no bags...What do I do???" And the guy across the stage is motioning to me like, "We need more fog!!" and I'm thinking, "Look buddy I am not sticking my hand into boiling water. No sir." And then at the end of the scene I figured out that lowering the metal pipe lowers the wire basket, so if I want to retrieve the bags for the ice I need to raise the metal pipe! Ohhhhh.

So maybe the next time I'll get it right? Successfully keep fog flowing throughout the whole scene?
Oh the suspense. oh the suspense.

Molly Crane

So if I know Molly, this is going to embarrass her. But since I'm all the way down the Mississippi River and no longer near Lake Michigan, what can I do but honor this very dear friend with a blogpost especially dedicated to her?

If I could communicate the ways Molly Crane has inspired me, I would be a talented writer. But alas I'll have to settle for mediocrity because her spirit is too wonderful for my words. But here's a few I'm stealing:

Psalm 139:14

¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.

Zephaniah 3:17

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁷ The Lord your God is with you,
    the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
    in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
    but will rejoice over you with singing.”

Instead of trying to present flowery words of praise, I'll just state the facts here:

I got to know Molly this winter at Urbana, Intervarsity's Student Missions Conference.  Somehow, I was immediately comfortable opening up to her. She is a listener. She is patient. She is one of the most caring individuals I know.

Molly took the time to continue talking with me over the winter and spring, taking an interest in my theatre efforts and telling me about the Bible study she led at an Evanston homeless shelter.

    Molly told me something that I'll never forget. She said that people at the homeless shelter need people to listen to them. They want someone to just listen and let them talk. We can serve the poor and love the unloved by simple listening. No money involved. Even if we have nothing to give, we can give time and relationship.

Molly invited me to a home-cooked meal with her lovely mom.

Once Molly and I were driving into Chicago, and we passed a homeless woman pushing a shopping cart. Molly asked if we could pray for her.

I can be honest with Molly, and Molly will always help me to see how I can seek Christ more (cause usually that's what I need help with).  Molly is not afraid to give counsel and speak honestly.

Proverbs 19:20-21 ESV
Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future. Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.

I know that my friendship with Molly is a good one to have, because she has so many qualities I hope to emulate: a heart to be more like Jesus. A heart to show Jesus to all.

I love this girl (and if anyone ever hurts her, I will chase you down. And she will probably help me to see that forgiveness is what Christ would do).

Happy Birthday Molly. You are a beautiful soul that God has placed in my life. I am blessed to be your friend.

~Catherine

The Brain

I just think this is fascinating. To think about how just sitting down and reading Scripture actually affects the neurological pathways and synaptic pathways (and other terms I hope to learn) in the brain!  Our brains are so powerful! The imagination is the key to all healing, all change! Self-expression wooooooooo. How I love it!


"There are few people today who would deny that the brain is the primary organ of psychological experience. While we can debate the place of the soul, the brain’s involvement in how we live and have our being is undeniable. The brain is constantly changing in response to what it is being given to process. The things that we see, smell, hear, taste, touch, and experience throughout our day affect it and modify it. The brain’s ability to be modified—to learn—helps us process information and integrate these experiences with our memories in order to choose appropriate responses. The brain integrates what it is being fed into memories, making sense of the world, and developing our sense of self. If the brain is being fed Scripture, it should come as no surprise that it sees the world through the lens of Scripture. If it is being fed images of political conspiracies or violent sexuality, it should not come as any surprise that it begins to see the world through a filter of politics, depravity, or sensuality. For some, this view of the brain’s role is a relief; it helps them understand depression, anxiety, or addiction as a wiring problem. It is a fundamental part of how they are put together and can be extraordinarily helpful in understanding why they struggle. For others that knowledge leads to a fatalist view, or a “my-brain-made-me-do-it” defense, when they sin or act out. Because the human brain is the biological anchor of our psychological experience, it is helpful to understand how it operates. Knowing how it is wired together and where it is sensitive can help us understand why pornography affects people the way it does. The plasticity of the beautiful, complex brain can be a blessing or a curse. While the brain is malleable, it typically follows a set of rules in performing its functions. These rules govern how connections are made, how images are processed, how behaviors are executed, and how emotions are triggered."

Friends

You know why friends get so upset when they see that their friends like a guy who's just so a scumbag?
because they can see the REAL YOU. The beautiful you that is not being treasured honored and held high in the eyes of a guy. And they can see how amazing you are even when you can't.

So trust your friends. Listen to them. Let them help you see what you don't always see in the mirror.

Because you are awesome. you are beautiful. You are sweeeeeeeeeeeeettttt!!! Pun intended ; )

Trust

Let worship flow from our lips.

No more mourning, no more pain.

Our Lord is good, and he redeems all heartache.

Worship heals the wounds left in wake of sin.

Worship, praise, thankfulness, gratitude.

Thank The Lord for redemption because his love is so deep so deep and so great!!!!

We are never lost, never beyond repair, but loved so loved!

We can trust and we can give all ourselves because He is beautiful and He loves.

He can be trusted. : )

Back in the park where I used to play.

Where I used to climb jungle gyms and ride on merry go rounds, and run around playing frisbee or letting moms braid my hair! It's so nice to understand and remember all the phases of life that have made me who I am, a girl that I love : ) it's so nice remembering how silly I was and how many crushes I had and how many little things that seemed SO huge at the time but now I see it's all okay. It helps to give perspective that whatever we go through, in a little while it will not seem so big, it will not seem so insurmountable. But instead, we can know that it made us who we are. Beautiful people with such value and worth before God. We are loved and we are free.

My Dad

My mom this morning said...
"We're about to lose your dad."
Me: "What?"
Mom: "It's hunting season."
Me: "Oh."
Mom: "We'll see him again in April."

What is grace?

Coming to understand this more than ever before. Grace is something I wish I had known since I was a child. To be able to fail would have saved me so much heart hurt. But I must come to terms with myself: a sinner. So where do I go from here? I think Ann Voskamp offers real wisdom the way to go is to give thanks. That instead of dwelling on our sin and sinfulness, those chains, we must instead fix our eyes on Jesus, our lover who loves us with all compassion for all our sin! He loves us so whole heartedly fully knowing we would run from him to sin! Yet we are worth so much to him, so so much, that he runs oh after us. Oh thank youLord, thank you thank you Lord, for saying I am worthy enough to be sought! Our Lord and his love are absolutely amazing. I hope to know this more and more and more. 

Goal # 19 & 24!!!!!!!!!

Even when I'm not actively trying to accomplish goals, they just happen...

19) Find what is beautiful about Jackson
24) learn how to take care of my car

19)
This morning my dad and I went to church at Redeemer Presbyterian Church which is a church that actively seeks to bridge diverse communities in Jackson.  I've realized in the past few weeks, that I do not follow my own philosophy when it comes to fighting for racial reconciliation. I have failed to CELEBRATE! And celebration is the key to growth. So I've decided that I am actively going to look for ways that Jackson, a place with a deeply entrenched history of racial segregation and tense race relations, has made strides toward racial reconciliation. Because really and truly there is beautiful work happening here, beautiful work rising from the ashes of this community! And that is something worth recognizing. Church this morning was beautiful. Seeing people of different races stand beside one another in the choir makes my heart sing. Seeing families from different communities shake hands and exchange information is what should be happening in the church!!!!!!!!!!!!  So it was good, and I am glad to know this church is growing in Jackson. 

2 Corinthians 5:17-21
^"17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! ¹⁸ All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: ¹⁹ that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. ²⁰ We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. ²¹ God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God."

24)
When my dad and I returned to my car, the cup of oatmeal I had left in the car was swarming with ants. It turns out there is an ant colony living in the car. What? My dad said that they probably found their way in while I was in Evanston, and I said, "When the car was parking in a parking garage?" Ha not likely. Whatever the case, there are ants making their home in my car. So my dad and I proceeded to vaccum all the carpets in the car as well as take it through the carwash. Now I highly doubt the vacuuming scared the ants away, but my carpets are now clean!!!!!!!!!!!
     Anyway, I realized today that anything you care about, you will work hard to keep it safe, protected, clean, and good as new. This is how God feels about us. When we get dirty, he makes us clean! He washes us clean. Wonderful.
1 Corinthians 6:11  "And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God."

Brothers

I can't believe I've never blogged about this before, but I just want to say I have an overwhelming amount of gratitude for my brothers in Christ. God has been so good to me bringing such good friends into my life these past four years at Northwestern. And all I can say is thank you. Thank you brothers. Thank you for respecting us women, and for being yourselves, and for pursuing the Lord. It helps us remember that there really are guys who believe we are valuable because they know how much Jesus loves us.

Three boys I'm particularly thankful for are dating some pretty amazing ladies. And it brings me smiles to see their relationships progress so healthily, holy, and wholesome. A lovely portrait for every single girl to know what she deserves. So thank you Adam Dominick. thank you David Young. thank you Clay Burrows. I wasn't aware of what a gift it was to know you, but now looking back I see that all of you were exactly the gift God intended to place in my life.

I'm thankful for my real brother. As I get to know him more and more, I realize how amazing God has made him. He is so wise, thoughtful, kind, gracious and I am so thankful for my relationship with him. He's probably the only guy, other than my dad, who can understand me completely, because he KNOWS all my faults. Tonight I said, "William, you know my pride is about as big as this house right?" And he said, "Yes. I know."

That's a brother for ya. Loves you for who you are.
He also gave me this quote:
"There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind." C.S. Lewis

I love C.S. Lewis, Tolkien, George MacDonald. It makes me smile that someday, I will be their sister in heaven. How cool is that??? I'm gonna to hang out with J.R.R. Tolkien!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't even handle that thought. Seriously, the writer who wrote Eowyn??? And the whole story? And all those characters? And the eutragedy during the beginning of post-modernism? Not possible! But it IS.
--eutragedy is a tragedy in which the story turns hopeful at the very last possible moment. So he simultaneously managed to portray the brokenness and depravity of the human condition, that is so evident in the writings of Hemingway and such, and yet he managed to show how hope remains. He is pretty high on the list of men that I would consider marrying if he were my age. Just sayin. But alas in heaven we will all be brothers and sisters. There will be no marriage! And so I rejoice to know my amazing brothers in Christ. All of you.

A sad story.  A friend of mine recently posted this on facebook:
"I hate every man in the world right now. Except my dad. And my brother. And my roommates. And the gay ones. And Obama."  It makes me terribly sad that she would say this, because I can only imagine the harmful behavior that would have led her to say something like this publicly.  It hurts me that she only knows guys who act that way, and that fact indicates that she might only believe she is worth that type of guy. Not true. Not true. I wish for every girl like her to know, that there are great guys in existence. They might seem like they don't exist, but they do. Or they might get there someday. It's just important to know that bad behavior is never condonable. Women have no responsibility to say yes to dating a guy to boost his ego. We spoke with the 9th graders about the myth that if a guy asks you to homecoming, it is rude to say no. "Oh he has get up the courage to ask me out, so poor guy." I'm not gonna say a cuss word, but I probably would say one if I did that. My point is, NO. You have no obligation to make a guy feel good about himself. If he needs you to affirm his worth, he's got some issues. And you're best to walk in the opposite direction. Cause you ain't gonna make him really know his value, unless he finds his value in God.  So when I see posts like that, or hear friends talk about the mistreatment in their lives, all I think is why? if anyone can offer a good answer you can write my blog for me. This is the question I've been seeking to answer and will continue to look for an answer to as I hopefully continue in the field of women's empowerment. I guess if I had to take a gander, the answer would be, we don't know our value, unless we know Christ.

So to my brothers in Christ who are so good to the friends and the significant others. I thank you. And women all over the world should thank you because you have the strength and the character to help us really understand our full value before Christ.  So in case ya didn't know how great ya are, give yourself a pat on the back, and keep it up. Some girls notice, they really do.

Read THIS!

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/worldviews/wp/2013/08/12/40-maps-that-explain-the-world/

2. Makes me glad to be from the US. But Canada is friendlier to outsiders.

6. The amount of emotion people feel correlates to the country they are from? That's fascinating. Why would the least emotional people live in Russia?

7. Ugh colonialism.

8. Hm. the U.S. is relatively tolerant of racial diversity.

9. The U.S. is less ethnically diverse than I would have thought.

11. ha ha ha ha ha The Texas Republic. They wish.

12. So not a lot of countries hate America. But a few do. China seems ambivalent to it.

15. Makes me sad. Death penalty for homosexuality?

18. Russia also has a cigarette problem? WHO WOULD WANT TO LIVE THERE WITH SIBERIAN TIGERS AND FROSTBITE?

19. Okay, so what are Canada, Australia, a bunch of countries in the EU, and countries I'd have to look up in the Middle East doing so right that America can't figure out? In terms of Economic Inequality.

20. Shame.

22. if I have kids, i'm moving to Canada. it is also better than the US in terms of places to be a mother.

25. This is embarrassing but I don't know the difference between civil law and common law. should look that up...

26. eeeeeek to live in Israel would be scary

27. The US seems safe except for Alaska...NOOOOOOOOO! Don't get KODIAK!

28 is pretty atrocious. The Child Poverty Rate in America is at 20-25%, the most significant percentage of developed nations.

30. is pretty funny. Only Great Britain thinks pretty badly of the European Union.

34. China feels pretty good about the national economy.

35. Makes my brain hurt. Performance Studies major. Not Poli Sci.

36. Fascinating. 40-49.9% of Chinese people label themselves atheists.

37. Hm Muslims in Russia are not so much in favor of democratic leadership. Wonder why that is?

39. Honor killings exist? Killing someone for sleeping around out of wedlock? Rough.

40. Woah

I just learned more about the world, economics, political science, religion, and whodawhatnots than in my entire FOUR YEARS at Northwestern. Here's to reading online news. Once I left Medill, I went downhill. No longer!

Trinity

Tim Keller podcast: Imitating the Incarnation, Feb. 1, 2013

Augustan said that if the Trinity did not exist, God would be an imperfect God. Because if there were no Trinity, Father-Son-Holy Spirit, God would have never loved until creating angels and human beings. Therefore God would have created these beings to fill a need for love. But instead, the Trinity was already complete in love and created human beings not to take but to give love.

Amazing.

Father

My father is pretty adorable. He took a trip to China and brought back some gifts. 

See the creepy little doll? It squirts water at you. Surprise surprise. Trickster!

He also brought back a stamp that writes my name. I was born in the year of the horse. I guess my spirit animal would be a wild stallion. Once I run, no one can keep up. 

He also has a special relationship with animals. He can even hold my car like that and she doesn't squirm! She can be finicky so that's a feat.

What a gift to have a father like mine. But an even better gift is our Heavenly Father. Sometimes I feel bad that friends fathers are not as gracious and caring to them as mine. Or that friends have lost their fathers. But we all have a Heavenly Father who loves us as precious sons and daughters. Who also gives weird gifts!!! They might not exactly be odd Chinese toys, but he does give good gifts! Matthew 7:11

That's nature

Another family day, lot of funny moments. Too much fun when you know people really well and can predict all their quirks.

I am especially enjoying spending time with Reid, my sisters new husband. He will listen to me gab without any indication that I should stop talking! Cool theological discussion while hiking with him & my dad. New family is a gift! 

Best moment of the day though by far has for to be watching my mom react with horror to the tv show my dad chose to watch? A pack of lions chase down an elephant. Her reaction is just too good. "How can they do that? He's bigger! Stomp them! Kick them with your hind legs!" So much empathy for such a weird recipient. The rest of us are like,"that's nature."

Sandcastle building

I did many cool things today. but One thing I didn't do, is I didn't build a sandcastle.

Southern Adventures

Hung out with my brother and his Ole Miss friends today. So goood to just get to know my brother. We had this running count of the number of times the boys dropped the f bomb. 16. And we kept secretly laughing. Was nice to hear their southern cadences, phrases, even jokes. Reminds me of who I was and where I grew up.

I watched as my bro & the boys jumped off these rocks into freezing water. Were I not vehemently opposed to being cold upon leaving Chicago, I would have jumped too. But it looked sweet.

Then we went in search of ice caves, and found an iceless cave. The best part was maneuvering into a nook and climbing the side of the wall. Williams buddy Jake kept trying to climb it but there really were no cracks to hang on to, but being small I managed to sort of get myself stuck in the nook and crawl up. And it was awesome, I have always loved rock climbing walls and zip lines, and the best part was my mom would have been terrified had she known I was climbing! And my brother kept telling me not to, aw protecting me, but what they don't realize is I am fearless. to a fault. If I set out to do something, I do it. I probably fail, but I go for what I want. and I wanted to climb that cave wall. and I did it. To jakes amazement I will add! He managed to crawl into the nook backwards...how I don't know? But at the top my brother reached out his hand and pulled me up. His grip was so strong and although I think I could have made it, I felt very cared for in that moment. We even made a pact not to tell my mom, but Jake told my mom while we were away from the dinner table...whoops. my mom said she is going to teach me the difference between independence & recklessness. But I was fine! Wasn't being stupid. Maybe a little. But it was fun! Now I want to climb a real mountain.

Anyway Im so proud of the man my brother has become. All into RUF, setting an example in his friend group, level headed, good listener! I am thankful for him.

Brother

My little brother is so cool. I'm glad to become better friends with him. He's funny.

Today my fam went white water rafting, and the guide was saying that there was a 15 year old in our van who was a vegetarian. Now my bro does not support my almost vegetarianism so he decided to make me feel awkward and say, "that's the guy for you!" And I'm like, "not interested in younger folks..." And then he goes, "well it could be a girl," and I'm like "ohhhh perfect for you then!!!" Hahaha. Then we both agree that it would be illegal for either of us to date a 15 year old. Then I say,"let's do something illegal." And he says, "yeah let's smoke marijuana." And then goes, "wait that's legal here" hahaha so much sass and it's awesome.

So I pretty much fail at anything that requires hand-eye coordination. And Reid & Will were playing pool so I decide alright I'll play...but pretty quickly it becomes obvious that I am a lost cause...except that William stopped playing to win and just taught me how to aim & shoot! He made me practice just shooting it. And I got better! I did find it boring, but what I realized while playing frisbee golf is that anything I am bad at I will find boring. Haha so maybe if I practice it will become fun?

the fam went white water rafting and our raft guides were such goofballs. I love the Colorado vibe. Laid-back, outdoorsy, into companionship. Our guide told us that once upon a time, the Yetis mated with human beings and created a race called the Yeebles who speak Yebalese. "They are very shy, don't stare." And he said one of the guides was a Yebalese. So many kooky things came out of his mouth, impressed he could come up with so many jokes!  Also Callie fell in! I think she was simultaneously terrified and laughing.  

Good times with family are something to be tremendously thankful for.

A family day

The best kind of day.

Frisbee golf with Callie, Reid, William, and Dad. I am terrible at throwing a frisbee. And was so bored. But I played to spend time with them. And ya know what, I improved a little and had much laughter! Our frisbees kept flying off and rolling down the mountainside. We had to chase them.

Here was the score:

Everyone else: 45-55

Me: 81

Well it's not my thing, but I am a stellar hula hooper. Went for 10 minutes!

Cal & Reid cooked dinner and we all are on this gigantic Fellowship of the Ring style table. Awkwardly far apart.

Now playing a rousing game of Apples to Apples! All the laughter is goodness.

Also there are so many dogs here. This teddy bear Yorkie at church was the cutest.

We rode a gondola up the mountain and I realized that the views were not as captivating because I didn't have to work to earn them. We don't value what we don't work for. Anything worthwhile is worth the hard work! So a relationship with God is like this? Worth the effort. 

Zombie Flight

Somebody tell Michaelina that Im actually a zombie. It's 452 in Kodiak and 752 in Chicago. I'm in Chicago. Woah. I'm in O'hare and I've never been here. I love wandering around new places. There's so much to absorb!

So the plane flight was obnoxiously long and my phone died so I couldn't even listen to Brooke Fraser. But here's what I did! I learned some espanol : )

Abroche Su cinturon mientras este sentado

Chateco salvavidas debajo de Su asiento

Prohibido fumar en el bano

Jale la puerta para abrir

Como cortesia para el proximo parajero le sugerimos secar el lavabo com su toalla usada! Gracias!

It took me awhile to write all this down in the bathroom, and I think the flight attendant was slightly concerned...

My goal is to be able to read a Marquez novel in Spanish 

I also thought about T SWIFT

ok so Speak Now, the scenario is so not classy. If someone stole my man on my wedding day I'd claw her eyes out. I don't care if I float like a pageant queen. Let me float if I wanna. 

I just think Miss T wants to get married

Her 22 song says we're lonely. Hey I'm 22, single, and I'm pretty much the happiest I've ever been. You're only lonely if you don't try to get to know people. 

Her best songs are not boy related. Safe & sound, Innocent, Best Day-stellar!

I think I'd be her friend if I could. She seems fun. And is honest.

I also came up with this: treasure a lady like a Venetian glass elephant. Fragile and if you drop it the tail will crack. At least that's what happened when my grandfather dropped the one I gave him...

I also concluded, I don't care if I scare you

And this:be the ugly truth you

And the man beside me was listening to a Tim Keller sermon! Baller. So we had a cool convo : ) woah God is everywhere

And at one point when it got bumpy, I thought, if I died in the moment, would I have done everything I want to do for the world? Every moment in life is gift. 

Hey Stevie!!

Majesty

Gods majesty is just so evident in the beauty of this island. 

I will miss the mountains.

Comfort is Reminder

What are we coming to? or maybe the question is, where are we and how much are we ignoring?

Listening to Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift and The Civil Wars
isn't that what every mother wants for her child? to keep that child safe and sound?
a mother who loves will go to any length to keep her child from harm
where is healing found when people we love suffer?
how do you go about caring for someone who suffers
do you sit silently with hands folded
what words help?
comfort.
in suffering God becomes needed, and some people start to see Him more

Isaiah 40

Comfort for God’s People

40 Comfort, comfort my people,
    says your God.
² Speak tenderly to Jerusalem,
    and proclaim to her
that her hard service has been completed,
    that her sin has been paid for,
that she has received from the Lord’s hand
    double for all her sins.

³ A voice of one calling:
“In the wilderness prepare
    the way for the Lord^[a];
make straight in the desert
    a highway for our God.^[b]
4 Every valley shall be raised up,
    every mountain and hill made low;
the rough ground shall become level,
    the rugged places a plain.
⁵ And the glory of the Lord will be revealed,
    and all people will see it together.
For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.”

⁶ A voice says, “Cry out.”
    And I said, “What shall I cry?”

“All people are like grass,
    and all their faithfulness is like the flowers of the field.
⁷ The grass withers and the flowers fall,
    because the breath of the Lord blows on them.
    Surely the people are grass.
⁸ The grass withers and the flowers fall,
    but the word of our God endures forever.”

⁹ You who bring good news to Zion,
    go up on a high mountain.
You who bring good news to Jerusalem,^[c]
    lift up your voice with a shout,
lift it up, do not be afraid;
    say to the towns of Judah,
    “Here is your God!”
¹⁰ See, the Sovereign Lord comes with power,
    and he rules with a mighty arm.
See, his reward is with him,
    and his recompense accompanies him.
¹¹ He tends his flock like a shepherd:
    He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
    he gently leads those that have young.

¹² Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand,
    or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens?
Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket,
    or weighed the mountains on the scales
    and the hills in a balance?
¹³ Who can fathom the Spirit^[d] of the Lord,
    or instruct the Lord as his counselor?
¹⁴ Whom did the Lord consult to enlighten him,
    and who taught him the right way?
Who was it that taught him knowledge,
    or showed him the path of understanding?

¹⁵ Surely the nations are like a drop in a bucket;
    they are regarded as dust on the scales;
    he weighs the islands as though they were fine dust.
¹⁶ Lebanon is not sufficient for altar fires,
    nor its animals enough for burnt offerings.
¹⁷ Before him all the nations are as nothing;
    they are regarded by him as worthless
    and less than nothing.

¹⁸ With whom, then, will you compare God?
    To what image will you liken him?
¹⁹ As for an idol, a metalworker casts it,
    and a goldsmith overlays it with gold
    and fashions silver chains for it.
²⁰ A person too poor to present such an offering
    selects wood that will not rot;
they look for a skilled worker
    to set up an idol that will not topple.

²¹ Do you not know?
    Have you not heard?
Has it not been told you from the beginning?
    Have you not understood since the earth was founded?
²² He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth,
    and its people are like grasshoppers.
He stretches out the heavens like a canopy,
    and spreads them out like a tent to live in.
²³ He brings princes to naught
    and reduces the rulers of this world to nothing.
²⁴ No sooner are they planted,
    no sooner are they sown,
    no sooner do they take root in the ground,
than he blows on them and they wither,
    and a whirlwind sweeps them away like chaff.

²⁵ “To whom will you compare me?
    Or who is my equal?” says the Holy One.
²⁶ Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens:
    Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one
    and calls forth each of them by name.
Because of his great power and mighty strength,
    not one of them is missing.

²⁷ Why do you complain, Jacob?
    Why do you say, Israel,
“My way is hidden from the Lord;
    my cause is disregarded by my God”?
²⁸ Do you not know?
    Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
    and his understanding no one can fathom.
²⁹ He gives strength to the weary
    and increases the power of the weak.
³⁰ Even youths grow tired and weary,
    and young men stumble and fall;
³¹ but those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint.

these words offer so much more than I could
watching eagles soar, they are majestic

So much pain wrapped around the Trayvon Martin case. Historical, cultural, familial-how do we as a nation heal? don't forget don't forget don't forget but remembering loss, does it help?
The jury deliberated for 16 1/2 hours...how difficult to be part of that jury
I don't know very much about this case, aside from the premise, but the pain is evident.

at church, a middle school girl told me that she lives close to a place called the jungle...her mother, is a single mother, and will not allow her to go to the jungle. but this girl hears shootings.  Who are the forgotten children in America?  Who are the children who act out, fuss up, make fits because that's how they've learned how to behave from mistreatment? It's so easy to love the children who show affection...what about the children who are disruptive, difficult, annoying? It's easy to let them stay lost.  

"What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? Matthew 18:12

I so easily forget to love and care for the difficult or forgotten or people out of sight...and what convicts is to think, what if God had let me stay forgotten?  I wouldn't have known the difference. But I'm sure thankful he came to look for me.

Why is it so hard to do what is hard, to sacrifice, to give, to choose to offer for those who cannot offer back? Why should we love others, the ones who are hard to love? Because he loved us first...this is not easy but takes fighting one's natural inclinations.