Friday, September 27, 2013

Awesome People

I love my co-workers Jamaar and Jasmine.

They said:
"Catherine you are really good at making awkward situations sound good."
Me: "Aww thanks."

"Catherine you have got to learn how to make people uncomfortable"

Yesssssss.

Monday, September 23, 2013

Courage to be Vulnerable

This is beautiful.

On the necessity of vulnerability.

On how vulnerability is strength.
Shame is the lie that tells us vulnerability is weak.
Brene Brown says that we have to talk about shame.




I love when I find affirmation from secular sources that to be vulnerable to be nontraditionally courageous is the most beautiful thing one could ever do.

I Am documentary

Tom Shadyac, director of many films including Ace Ventura, Bruce Almighty, and The Nutty Professor drastically altered his outlook on life, meaning, and significance after a tragic bike accident that left him experiencing the effects of a concussion for years. He came to realize that death is impending so people should find out the problems of the world and solutions now. His documentary I Am seeks answers from professors and spiritual leaders about the ails of the world and solutions. 

The film communicates how the culture of consumerism causes separation and competition that causes a majority of the trials humanity faces today.  Suffering persists because our culture has forgotten how community is more fulfilling than competition! If only every person's goal was not to succeed but instead to make sure that every person was fed, cared for, and provided for. Isn't that all that really matters?  That the sick, poor, downtrodden are cared for? Consumerism promotes the lie that we need this and this and this to be happy. But once the basic needs are met, food, health, shelter, then happiness and wealth are not correlated! Happiness is a choice.

Fascinating topic for further research: democratic decision making among animals! Like a school of fish.

Darwin wrote about the survival of the fittest. He mentioned that term twice, and he mentioned the word love 95 times. Why aren't topics like community and cooperation discussed in science classes?  The world functions most effectively when we care for others. The idea that men must compete to win women? Unhelpful. We survive through community. Monogamy is the most effective way to help children survive!

Mirror Neurons-->Empathy
Video about dad who surprises his son after returning from Iraq


Quote from Tom Shadyac:
'The more I give away the wealthier I feel,' he said. 'For everything I "gave up", so much more was returned. The trappings of fame and fortune are exactly that - a trapping. It's called the spoils of success for a reason.'

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Play and Games!

So I like to play this game, and it's super fun (for me!). It's called, the "Why Do People do What They Do?" Game. So anytime someone talks to me about a problem, I analyze both parties in the situation.

Like this:
Why do you think he/she is acting that way?
What does he/she need?
Let's think about where he/she is coming from?
Do you think it has anything to do with how they feel about...
How does that person's actions make you feel?
What is that feeling about..ahhh so it's really about...

I don't know why this is so much fun for me.

But it's actually really effective because if people are mean, I don't get upset, I just start to figure out the problem like a puzzle. Why would he/she act this way? Where is he/she coming from? What have I done to cause those feelings? What else is going on in his/her life?

It's like analyzing characters but in life.

My experience in acting class taught me to see how when people say something, they are communicating so many unarticulated messages! That's the truth of human communication: we say one thing, but actually are TRYING to communicate something else, but are too afraid to say it. Or we aren't aware of what we really want to say.

Great drama uses roundabout dialogue to communicate the truth.

Hmm what's an example?
Ooo Ginger & Rosa has a fascinating example of this!

Ginger's mom makes a delightful dinner for her husband Roland.
Roland has been emotionally distant and also physically absent.
Roland disapproves of the food.
A fight ensues.
Ginger's mom cries because Roland does not appreciate her food.
"Why don't you like my food?" she says.
What she really means is this, "Why don't you love me?"
And Roland, Oh Roland, knows. Oh he knows. Jasmine said, boys always know how to behave correctly, but they always make excuses to do what they want. hahaha.
unfortunately tis true too often.
Roland says, "This is emotional manipulation."
But what does he mean? It's very hard to sympathize with this character who is so oblivious to the pain he causes his wife and daughter. He only changes his heart at the end of the movie.
But so why does he say something as harsh and cruel as "This is emotional manipulation." in response to his weeping wife?
Wow what a dousy.
How is he so heartless? He must validly believe that his actions are justified. People usually believe their actions are justified when they do the action...afterwards, they can see their mistakes.
Hmm well Roland harps on the fact that he was arrested during the war for standing up for his beliefs. (this backstory is not fully developed, so I'm uncertain about the details).
Perhaps, he hardened his heart in order to survive. A survivor technique. To shut down. Totally a survivor technique. It works. For Awhile.
Or perhaps, he legitimately believes she is manipulating him and there is a history of manipulation that makes him unhappy. But ahhh...see here's the real issue: Ginger's mom values marriage. Ginger's mom wants a husband who loves her. Ginger's mom wants to be cared for, given attention, and with a happy home. BUT Roland does not value the sanctity of marriage. He does not (at his core) believe that marriage should be treated as unbreakable. Instead he looks at marriage as a sort of temporary relationship that one may break and bend at one's convenience.
So there is a distinct unequal yoke there. Ginger's mom wants a husband who gives his all to make marriage work. But what Ginger's mom has is a man who believes he is justified in leaving marriage on a whim instead of fighting to work things out. Roland is selfish. Although he cannot understand this because he believes so fundamentally in "nonconformity" as truth. If it's breaking the rules, then it's correct. Wow. Fascinating. Roland has a history of brokenness that is not unveiled in the story, but there are many factors influencing his behavior. For one, his mother left him as a child. Hm that certainly communicates to a child that one's parent has no obligation to stick around. It's amazing seeing how parents' behavior communicates such subtle but impacting messages that can affect children for a lifetime. So this example illustrates the way words often communicate much more than is said. This example also unveils how to play, "Why Do People do What They Do?"

1st New Thought Thread
Adults in general must be so careful about the way they treat children because without perspective anything can be tremendously hurtful.

Two stories from my childhood:
       One day, I came to preschool with two lovely half-ponytails. I thought they were so pretty. Then while I was climbing the monkey bars, my half-ponytails fell out!
       I approached my teacher and asked if she or any of the other teachers could fix my hair back the way my mom had fixed it. This teacher perhaps was confused, so instead of giving me half-ponytails, she put my hair in two pippy longstocking pigtails. Not only did she fail to make my hair pretty, but also she exclaimed, "look she looks like a puppy dog!" and she and all the teachers laughed at me.

      In first grade, we would individually spell our spelling words on the whiteboard for our class.  My word was the word Lion. So I walked up to the board and carefully wrote the letters: L O I N. All of a sudden, my teacher could not stop laughing. She was cracking up that I had spelled the world loin instead of lion. I didn't understand, and I so embarrassed.

I still remember the unpleasant feelings of these experiences. And these memories teach me that I should never laugh at kids when they don't understand something. It's not their fault. They are children.

2nd New Thought Thread
Today, I taught the most wonderful 1st grade students. I love first graders. They love me! The first graders all said that one of their favorite parts of the day was meeting me. I miss my first grade campers in Kodiak. They were such beautiful people.  I miss seeing their sweet faces and playing games after camp and hearing them chant my name to participate in counselor challenge. hmmm. I just want to be a perpetual camp counselor.

I also really enjoyed working with the 4th-6th graders. They were so fun! One little girl came into class and skipped around the room dancing. So I joined in and the other students joined in.

I love how youth love to play! I love how they love to be creative. I love how nothing is off-limits, and everything is fun and adventurous. There are no inhibitions, no walls, just freedom to create, to imagine, to be. I believe this inner child lives in all of us and yearns to be set free.

Friday, September 20, 2013

Art from Suffering

21 Comics That Capture the Frustrations of Depression

so beautiful to portray the pain of depression in a way that makes it okay. saying,"look it's a real thing, worth making comic strips about." validating emotion. into it.

Quote

What doesn't destroy you only makes you stronger. 

How awesome! Struggles empower one to help others and love them more fully! Struggles help is empathize, relate, believe, love!

Thursday, September 19, 2013

National Talk Like a Pirate Day

New Stage produced Pirates of Penzance last summer.

Also, 
Little kids walk up to you and talk about treasure chests. He told us he has a puzzle treasure map.

Time

There is a time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. Ecclesiastes 3:4

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Inequality for All Documentary

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9REdcxfie3M

Trailer for new documentary about the need to grow and support the middle class. He analyzes why the American economy grew so dramatically during and after WWII. How can we now emulate the positives of that time period? What can we learn from the past?

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Introversion and Creativity

Introversion is wonderful.


According to Myers Briggs, most of the world's great writers were INFPs. I'll take that : )

Article about Segregation in the US

http://www.wired.com/design/2013/08/how-segregated-is-your-city-this-eye-opening-map-shows-you/#slideid-210501

The segregation in certain communities is stark!

Hayden

Hayden loves to rub his face on my feet. ???

Women and Self-Criticism

Article from Oprah Magazine Women and the Negativity Factor that explains some neurological reasons that women have low self-esteem and are prone to self-criticism.

Fascinating.

Excerpt:

"It turns out there's an area of your brain that's assigned the task of negative thinking," says Louann Brizendine, MD, a neuropsychiatrist at the University of California, San Francisco, and the author of The Female Brain. "It's judgmental. It says 'I'm too fat' or 'I'm too old.' It's a barometer of every social interaction you have. It goes on red alert when the feedback you're getting from other people isn't going well." This worrywart part of the brain is the anterior cingulate cortex. In women, it's actually larger and more influential, as is the brain circuitry for observing emotions in others. "The reason we think females have more emotional sensitivity," says Brizendine, "is that we've been built to be immediately responsive to the needs of a nonverbal infant. That can be both a good thing and a bad thing."

The hormonal surges in the female brain—what Brizendine describes as the rising tide of estrogen and progesterone—make a woman more sensitive to emotional nuance, such as disapproval or rejection.

A study at the University of Texas how easily body image is undermined: A group of adolescent girls were in a room with an attractive woman who complained about how fat she was (the implication being that anybody who was heavier than she would really have something to complain about). There was an immediate impact on the body image of the girls, even though the encounter was brief and the woman was a stranger. "Up to 50 percent of adolescent girls have body image concerns," says Eric Stice, PhD, lead researcher on that study. "Up to 70 percent of girls say they would take a pill to lose five pounds; with males, it's maybe 15 percent. And puberty moves young men toward the ideal male body image, strong and muscled, but moves young women away from the ideal female body image, lean with no hips. It's really sad that adolescent girls look at airbrushed images in the media that aren't even real. They're killing themselves for something that isn't real."

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Augusto Boal

"It is only possible to teach something to someone who teaches us something back. Teaching is a transitive process, a dialogue, just as all human relations should be dialogues: men and women, blacks and whites, one class and another, between countries. But we know that these dialogues, if not carefully nurtured or energetically demanded, can very rapidly turn into monologues, in which only one of the ‘interlocutors’ has the right to speak: one sex, one class, one race, one group of countries. And the other parties are reduced to silence, to obedience; they are oppressed. And this is the Paulo-Freirian concept of the oppressed: dialogue which turns into monologue." Augusto Boal

We is he sooo coooollll???? Naphtali Fields would agree with me : )
Michael Rohd got to work with Augusto Boal...omg. omg. 

Saturday, September 14, 2013

My co-workers

"I couldn't watch Lord of the Rings cause there are too many short people in it."-Jasmine

"I have a short complex. Couldn't watch Snow White." Jasmine

"No Im telling you that the witches (in Wizard of Oz) wanted to feel superior, and everyone else around you is short you're gonna feel uncomfortable."-Jasmine

"The thing that makes me uncomfortable with clowns is that their face is happy, but they are doing mean thing."-Jasmine

"Do you like movies in which people die?" Jamaar
"No. Who likes it when people die?" Me
"Jasmine likes when people die in movies cause that's real." Jamaar

Friday, September 13, 2013

A Friend's Poem

An old friend from Northwestern wrote this on facebook. It's truly beautiful.

"we accept the brokenness of the system
we love/fight with the wisdom of our hearts
with the calmness of our mind
we acknowledge that those who are lost
are not for nought
that every single human life is precious
and the color of our skin should not determine
the quality of our life
we are honoring the emmit tills, the oscar grants,
the trayvon martins; the anne franks, the gandhijis, and the abraham lincolns -every life that has been lost
we are honoring the murdered
and the murderers
we cannot live with a system that gives rise to this violence
for if we do
we will not live at all
we must create a world
in which justice is served
not with a silver bullet
or a lifetime in jail
but one in which the heart of one can meet another and
recollect, acknowledge, and forgive the pain that is inside us both
how can we have a call for action that
breaks down these systems of injustice
that stops the human spirit from breaking
is there a way in which we can thrive with and in each other?
let us create a world in which we all thrive"

           -Prachi Murarka 

Looking back, God put me on a path to connect with some pretty amazing, beautiful people who have shaped me (for the better I hope!).

Thursday, September 12, 2013

5th Favorite Book?

Have ordered George Macdonald's The Princess and the Goblin and The Princess and Curdie . I remember loving these books as a little girl.  Our school library only had The Princess and the Goblin and I searched for The Princess and Curdie for years! I don't believe I ever actually read the second book.

On a quest to discover my 5th favorite book. Seems like a good idea to revisit favorite books of younger days:
Bridge to Terebithia
The Lovely Bones
Ballet Shoes
Jane Eyre
Wuthering Heights
Little Women
Little House on the Prairie
Dracula
Anne of Green Gables
Girl with a Pearl Earring
Anna Karenina
The Picture of Dorian Gray
Into the Wild
Swiss Family Robinson
A Wrinkle in Time (series)
The Sound in the Fury
Charlotte's Web
The Lord of the Rings
Things Fall Apart
To Kill a Mockingbird
White Teeth
Caucasia
The BFG
James and the Giant Peach
The Hiding Place
The Diary of a Young Girl
Strange Pilgrims
Night
The Giver
Flowers for Algernon
A Walk in Victoria's Secret
The Road to Memphis
Song of the Trees
The Secret Garden
The Little Princess
The Light Princess
Number the Stars
The Boxcar Children
Pollyanna
Heidi
Matilda
oh a book in which the main character was named Marigold! what was the title?
A Tree Grows in Brooklynn
Their Eyes Were Watching God
The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks
The Little Way of Ruthie Lemming
Gossamer
Crime and Punishment
Betrayal-Pinter
Suzan Zeders The Ware Trilogy
Glass Menagerie
Paradise Lost
The Bean Trees
Peter Pan
The Hunger Games
Harry Potter
Chronicles of Narnia
The Hound of the Baskervilles
Giovanni's Room
The Jungle Book (check out the performance at The Goodman!)


Some books I read in High School & College but did not fully read or enjoy. Going to try reading them again without the "ugh I have too much to read and not enough time" attitude.
Great Expectations
A Tale of Two Cities
Huckleberry Finn
The Unvanquished
Don Quixote
The Scarlet Letter
Alice in Wonderland
Ulysses
Mrs. Dalloway
The Ponder Heart
The Stranger
Fahrenheit 451
Animal Farm
Cat's Cradle (freaked me out)
1984
Catch-22
Metamorphoses
Pride and Prejudice
The Bell Jar
The Grapes of Wrath
Shakespeare!!!
Oreistea
The Color Purple
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man


Books I have never read but should:
Moby Dick
Gulliver's Travels
The Wind in the Willows
Life of Pi
Frankenstein
The Brothers Karamazov
A Passage to India
The Light in August
As I Lay Dying
Brave New World
Absalom. Absalom!
A Rose for Emily
Catcher in the Rye
Lord of the Flies
Lolita
A Bend in the River
Northern Lights
Love in the Time of Cholera
Borges
The Bluest Eye
Song of Solomon
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
Sense and Sensitivity
The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Blue Like Jazz
The Secret Life of Bees
Sold
Native Son
The Book Thief
The Phantom Tollbooth
Kaffir Boy: The True Story of a Black Youth's Coming to Age in Apartheid South Africa
The Witches
Island of the Blue Dolphins 
The Idiot
Les Miserables
Gathering Blue
Beloved
Paradise Regained
Heart of Darkness
The Handmaids Tale
The Age of Innocence
Oliver
David Copperfield *** A suggestion...will it be worth the list? I'll have to see. : )



Top 100 Books according to the Guardian
Best books for 5th Graders


hahaha  Fun is not the adjective I would pair with math. Perhaps if I had read this book, I would feel differently.

Fun Books About Math
Sir Cumference and the First Round Table: A Math Adventure by Cindy Neuschwander, illustrated by Wayne Geehan (Charlesbridge Publishing, 1999).
This book is the perfect read-aloud to introduce the concepts of circumference, diameter and radius. Students will be exposed to many other geometric shapes as well. Children of all ages will enjoy this mathematical adventure. Sir Circumference and his Knight work to solve a mathematical dilemma. What would be the best-shaped table for Sir Circumference to gather his knights? Will it be a square, rectangle, parallelogram or circle? You must read to find out. 32 pages. Jennifer Thompson


Sunday, September 8, 2013

The Fog Machine...

It's amazing how a janked, homemade fog machine can reveal to me how little common sense I have.

yes I have known this fact for a very long time. And people are often surprised to hear I went to a school like Northwestern. Books and I see eye to eye. But street smarts? Well...I'm workin on it.

Today was my second day to try to master the fog machine. Here are the basic steps:
A) Turn on the heater so that the water can get to a boil
B) Place bag of dry ice in the metal basket
C) Lower the basket through lowering a metal pipe on the top of the machine
D) Turn on the fan so that the fog flows out of a tube onto the stage

Not too difficult right?
Well yesterday, I stuck my hand into the machine to retrieve the bags only to find that instead of a wire basket I was touching boiling water! OWWWW.

So during the scene today, I was contemplating, "Should I stick my hand in the water again? I need more dry ice but I have no bags...What do I do???" And the guy across the stage is motioning to me like, "We need more fog!!" and I'm thinking, "Look buddy I am not sticking my hand into boiling water. No sir." And then at the end of the scene I figured out that lowering the metal pipe lowers the wire basket, so if I want to retrieve the bags for the ice I need to raise the metal pipe! Ohhhhh.

So maybe the next time I'll get it right? Successfully keep fog flowing throughout the whole scene?
Oh the suspense. oh the suspense.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Molly Crane

So if I know Molly, this is going to embarrass her. But since I'm all the way down the Mississippi River and no longer near Lake Michigan, what can I do but honor this very dear friend with a blogpost especially dedicated to her?

If I could communicate the ways Molly Crane has inspired me, I would be a talented writer. But alas I'll have to settle for mediocrity because her spirit is too wonderful for my words. But here's a few I'm stealing:

Psalm 139:14
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.

Zephaniah 3:17

New International Version (NIV)
17 The Lord your God is with you,
    the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
    in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
    but will rejoice over you with singing.”

Instead of trying to present flowery words of praise, I'll just state the facts here:
I got to know Molly this winter at Urbana, Intervarsity's Student Missions Conference.  Somehow, I was immediately comfortable opening up to her. She is a listener. She is patient. She is one of the most caring individuals I know.

Molly took the time to continue talking with me over the winter and spring, taking an interest in my theatre efforts and telling me about the Bible study she led at an Evanston homeless shelter.
    Molly told me something that I'll never forget. She said that people at the homeless shelter need people to listen to them. They want someone to just listen and let them talk. We can serve the poor and love the unloved by simple listening. No money involved. Even if we have nothing to give, we can give time and relationship.

Molly invited me to a home-cooked meal with her lovely mom.

Once Molly and I were driving into Chicago, and we passed a homeless woman pushing a shopping cart. Molly asked if we could pray for her.

I can be honest with Molly, and Molly will always help me to see how I can seek Christ more (cause usually that's what I need help with).  Molly is not afraid to give counsel and speak honestly.

Proverbs 19:20-21 ESV
Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future. Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.

I know that my friendship with Molly is a good one to have, because she has so many qualities I hope to emulate: a heart to be more like Jesus. A heart to show Jesus to all.

I love this girl (and if anyone ever hurts her, I will chase you down. And she will probably help me to see that forgiveness is what Christ would do).

Happy Birthday Molly. You are a beautiful soul that God has placed in my life. I am blessed to be your friend.

~Catherine