Personal Stories from Women who have had Abortions

http://nymag.com/news/features/abortion-stories-2013-11/

Abortion never seems to be discussed in any kind of personal way, but what could be more personal than a woman deciding whether or not to allow her unborn child to live?  These vulnerable stories shed light on the emotional struggles connected to the issue of abortion.

What strikes me most after reading these stories is that the girls are alone in facing the confusion, uncertainty, regret, shame, and other emotions accompanying abortion.  Why do we allow these women to face this kind of trauma alone?  What can we do, as a nation, to better care for these women who are often victims of disillusionment, manipulation, and recklessness?

What can we do?

For these women to vulnerably share their stories--without justifying the behavior or qualifying their actions--is a start.  Young women need to be able to talk with friends and family without the fear of judgment, especially when it comes to something as life-changing as pregnancy.  How do we stop stigmatizing the women but instead publicly and privately offer love, comfort, and support?

Many pregnancies that women choose to terminate may be accidental, even though the women took every precaution possible.   But there are also many situations in which women make rash choices, this seems especially true for the stories written by young women.  What's unsettling is that often women bear the consequences of rash choices while men can walk away "guiltless".

Why isn't there more initiative to challenge men to act responsibly? If abortion is such a HUGE issue in our nation, then why aren't policy makers, educators, and protestors confronting the underlying reality that both men and women must be held accountable for their choices?  Unfortunately, our government doesn't regulate moral values.  It's time to broaden the conversation and challenge men and women to look at the overall picture. 

Two Examples taken from the stories in the article
Scenario A
Woman gets pregnant.
Boyfriend convinces her to have an abortion.
She does.
She deals with the regret, shame, fear of that action her whole life.
Boyfriend leaves.

Who loses?

Scenario B
Woman gets pregnant.
She decides to have the child.
She must raise the child.
Boyfriend leaves (but pays child welfare fees).

Who loses?

It seems like women inevitably lose. And what are we doing to care for them?

How to change this?
Education.
Conversation.
Dialogue.
Free of judgment.
But dialogue nonetheless.
What is the value of human life?
What is the value of abstinence?
What is the value of marriage?
What responsibility accompanies accidental pregnancy?
What consequences accompany abortion?

Conversation in which people can be honest about their perspectives and actions--that freedom to be known and understood could possibly prevent harmful scenarios (A & B) and also allow space for much needed healing.